May 19 2018

Names rage

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 16:14

Every person has a button that if it gets pushed too many times, at the lightest touch, they snap. For me that button is my name, actually is how other people spell my name. My name is Iuliana Cosmina, with big “C” and big fucking “I”.  It should be obvious when I send an email, or complete a form, that people write their names with fucking capital letters. That should be obvious for any sane and intelligent adult, right? WRONG.

Since I declared myself eligible for a new job on LinkedIn, a lot of recruiters have contacted me.  You have no idea how many of them salute me with “Hi Luliana”, yes, with an “L”. First time it happened, I brushed it off. Different nationalities, you know? Second time it nagged me a little. Third time, I actually made a comment out loud about it. Forth time, I ignored the message of that recruiter altogether.

I mean, really, wtf people? Why do you think I would write my first name with a small caps letter? Why would you fucking think that??? I always recommend myself as Iuliana Cosmina, if I bother to write the second name with capital “C”, don’t you think the first is capital “I” ??

What is the logic  behind it really? If you are not sure, ask, or just use bloody copy paste and copy the name from the resource you are using.

I have colleagues originating in the most diverse countries and I rarely misspelled their names, you know why? Because I respect people enough to learn their names.

Yeah, this is my first blog-snap because of this subject. I really did not want to write about it, because one of the guys messing up my name might read this and feel offended. But you know what? Feel offended all you want, I feel offended by your carelessness, your dismissal and your lack of respect. So if you read this, after you finish feeling offended, please just fucking  grow up and do your job properly.  Because you probably missed the chance of recommending me to the company that you represent and you might also have missed the big bonus you would have gotten if I would have gotten the job. And I would have gotten the job. ;)

Stay safe, stay happy!

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May 09 2018

Moving on and letting go

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 0:20

My dear friends we have a problem. As I prepare to move to another city, to another country and start another job, I am getting insomnia thinking of all the things that could go wrong. I am still packing and trying to decide what to leave behind. I am saying goodbye to friends and bleeding money while trying to move everything from Ron to pounds. I just sold my car, that I barely had for a year and a half. And I don’t usually get attached to things, but this car was one of the best investments I ever did. I am happy though, because it is getting some awesome owners that will appreciate it just as much as I do.

The problem that we have is that you see me as this strong, inquisitive, curious and brave person and some of you do not seem to realize how hard this is for me. Because even if I don’t show it properly, because I’m an introvert after all, I am attached to some of you. And it hurts thinking that most probably I will never see many of you again.

And I have to spend two weeks without my cat. And three weeks looking for rent in a country that looks down on Romanian immigrants and uses credit score to decide if you are able to pay rent or not.

And the new job… seems amazing, but amazingly challenging as well. And I am terrified of the culture clashes and the repercussions of me being too blunt and too open and maybe too friendly. Honestly, I don’t know exactly what scares me, I’ve always been good at adapting. Sure between my four walls I will cry in the evening before falling asleep, that is if I can sleep. Because insomnia is one of my oldest friends, that never leaves me alone in challenging times.

And I have a book to write as well and I feel guilty every time I fall behind a page or two.

But saying goodbye to friends is the hardest. Because there are some people that you never think see you as a friend. But they do, it’s just that they have their own life, challenges and responsibilities keeping them busy. And they tend to take you for granted. They always think that there is time. That they will have that beer with you tomorrow or maybe next week. And you think that they are just too busy to see you. They all seem to have so much going on in their lives, that you don’t want to bother them. So we all take each other for granted. You think there is time. That you will maybe meet next week. But you never do. And then somebody moves away, and you realize that you should have bothered them. You should have asked them for a beer, even if rejection hurts. And you should have said yes and got that beer, because who knows what will happen tomorrow.

I am as guilty for taking people for granted just as much as my friends. But I am guilty of being too scared of being rejected. Because if somebody said no to me more than twice, I give up. No need to be a bother, right?

And I am really sorry, I guess I have a long way to go before becoming an adult. I believe after this change I have learned my lesson and do it better next time.

I guess, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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Apr 18 2018

On kids

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:58

Last week I was in my home town to baptize my godson. My best friends decided to add me as a family member, so they gave me the honour to be a godmother to their youngest child. I spent the whole week with this 6-month-old kid and his 5-years old sister. And their parents kept saying I have potential to be a parent. And it got me thinking.

I’m a self-educated introvert. I did not have the best parents. I mentioned this quite a lot around here. But I am over it. I realized that good or bad, whatever happened to me at their hands it made me the person I am today. I am strong, I am relentless, I am smart and I am driven. There’s a big chance I would not be this person if my parents would have been more protective, supportive and understanding. Instead, I took all my anger, all my disappointment and all my pain and used them as fuel for my willpower. And boy I have a lot of that!

Would I be a good parent? I don’t know. I would probably be better than they were, and this might make my kids weaker than I am. Or maybe not. The truth is, I cannot tell. Only time can tell.

But what I can tell you for sure is that I will adopt. I do not want to risk my body and mind to have my own kids. I will adopt. For multiple reasons. One: we are way too many on this planet already. No need for more people. Second: this will be my “screw you” to this society that allows for people to be born without a chance to a normal life. I will adopt a kid, or two and use the resources I have to give them a fighting chance. I know and I accept that I will probably have to ensure counselling for him or her until adulthood to compensate for their rough start in life. But hey, kids are expensive anyway. ;)

So yeah, you don’t have to worry. I will leave some kind of legacy. I will not fade away silently into nothingness.

Stay safe, stay happy!


Dec 07 2017

Experience cloud

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 11:12

I created this for a presentation about my experience and skills and I thought it belongs here.

The word cloud above covers all my 11 years of development so far and clearly reveals which topics I am best at. Although I always wished myself to become an agnostic developer, also known as a polyglot developer, after all these years I have to accept the fact that Java & Spring are clearly my strongest points.

Where should I go from now? Well… I have considered learning Kotlin for a while. ;)

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Oct 16 2017

Happy Birthday to John Mayer!

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 20:29

My favorite singer is celebrating his 40th birthday today. As you will probably figure out soon I’m a little obsessed with this person. John Mayer is an amazing guitarist, I am expecting to be one of the names in the music hall of fame, next to Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, BB King and others. I think he is one of the best guitarists of the century and I am glad I was born in this day and age and have my ears caressed by the sounds he can make a guitar produce.

He also has an amazing voice, and he’s quite handsome for his age, of course. But this has nothing to do with my “obsession” for him. I think I just like him as an artist because he is really good at expressing how he feel through music and sharing it with his listeners.

My dear John Mayer, thank you for your whole existence and your dedication to music. Being able to listen to you sing live was the highlight of this year. I hope you live for many years from now and continue making beautiful music. Please take care of yourself and continue making your dreams come true! Happy birthday!


Aug 26 2017

The long way back

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 10:33

In the Atlanta airport I met Kyle, that is a half Irishman, half Scottish American. I should have figured out his origins by the fact that he started his day with three Bloody Mary drinks. We had a nice chat about people work ethic and mountains. I then boarded the plane and wrote one of the entries for this blog. I think I also slept a little. I can tell you for sure that time flew as well, because the time to land came quite quickly.

In Washington Dulles I had a lot of time to spend, because on the way back is when the time zone difference causes a lot of trouble. Back to Europe I was flying with United Airlines which is a more lower cost version of Lufthansa with a crappy site that did not allow me to check in and choose my own seats. So I ended up in 45 E, between a handsome Russian and a nice English woman.

I went through all the customs and flying formalities and here I was with only one bag and a lot of time on my hands. So I stopped in a bar and asked for a beer and a meal and went back to blogging. I keep hoping that when I get home I will have other subjects to write about, so I want to finish all vacation entries before I come back. Also I just do not want to risk forgetting more of the thoughts I am having now.

By the time I had to board, entries up to and including the 21st of August were already done. Then, because the movies and TV series provided by United presented no interest to me, I continued blogging. And now here I am, seven hours later, almost all entries are done. What they are missing are some pictures, maybe. But aside from that all the data is in. I have about seven hours of wait in Munich. That is where all the entries will be polished and then published on the blog. I will get home at 06:00PM, so I’ll have just enough time to take a long bath, watch Game of Thrones and console the cat for my absence. Then I will doze off to sleep and I will wake up into my routine weekend life.

It is weird how wasting so much time in airports does not feel so bad. I was expecting to get crazy bored. I guess blogging can be quite time consuming, especially the way I do it. Honestly, I doubt somebody will actually read all my crazy and boring thoughts. But who knows, maybe in some other part of the world there is a stranger or a friend stuck for hours in an airport. And they do not have a blog, or are not as passionate about writing as I am, but they are passionate about reading. So here it is, enough material to kill a few hours. You are welcome.

Continue reading “The long way back”

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Aug 24 2017

The US adventure(part 14): back in Atlanta

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 9:50

In Kings Mountain I had a smoker room, I either booked it by mistake, or I booked it out of necessity, because there was nothing else, but the lady at the reception was so nice and did not give up until I allowed her to use some indoor aromatic spray in a desperate try to mask the burned tobacco stench. I unpacked a few minimum things and had a shower, then drifted off to sleep. This motel was next to a highway and judging by the multitude of trucks parked around it, it was a trucker hotel. As a consequence I got woken up around five or six in the morning but a few angry truck engines. But I was really tired and I went back to sleep for two more hours.

I left Kings Mountain and headed for Atlanta again. To my surprise in two hours I was there so I just parked my car into a public parking and started asking Google what more could I do in Atlanta. There were a few things on the list, but one of them, that was also recommended by some friends on Facebook was to go to the Coca-Cola museum. So I did, although the aquarium was more appealing to me, but then again how many aquariums can you visit in a lifetime? :))

Continue reading “The US adventure(part 14): back in Atlanta”

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