Aug 16 2021

I did another thing I never thought I’d do

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 13:04

About three weeks ago I did something I would have never imagined doing. I contacted a solicitor to make a will. I am originally from Romania, and I come from a long line of peasants. This means that there is not much for me to inherit from my parents. There should be some pieces of land to inherit, but my parents must inherit them first. And making papers to inherit something is not cheap and since my parents do not intend to work that land and selling it would not amount to anything, they probably won’t do a thing about it. I guess at this point we can conclude that I won’t inherit anything from my parents.

However, a while ago I became a homeowner. Since I will take care of this home and fill it with stuff and at some point, renovate it and make it worth more, it would be nice if somebody got to benefit from it. If I don’t make a will, the UK law will decide what happens to my worldly possessions and I would like to avoid that.

Over the years I’ve heard a lot of stories about siblings fighting for their parents houses or land, breaking all contact over it and enriching lawyers and judges and I never understood it. How could I? My parents did not stand to inherit anything which means me, and my sister won’t inherit anything either. So, this was never a thing we had to think about.  I just don’t understand how siblings that supposedly love each other manage to break off all contact and not speak in years, and so their children end up hating each other by proxy because of inheritance and I don’t understand how their parents can’t prevent that from happening.  I just can’t wrap my head around this idea. I like to imagine that if I were a parent of more than two kids, I wouldn’t leave them anything that couldn’t be shared equally.

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Aug 15 2021

Off the grid

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:08

This weekend I’ve been off the grid. No, I’m not kidding, I’ve probably found the only spot in Scotland where neither Vodafone nor Gigg Gaff have a reach. A friend of mine works for a hotel in Aberfoyle, Stirling. As an employee, he can sometimes reserve rooms for friends as a benefit. He offered me the opportunity to stay a weekend in July, but that got cancelled because the cook got Covid. So, he postponed it for this weekend. I had no expectations beside being cancelled again because of COVID, but it worked out so of Friday at noon I packed up my car and drove to the middle of nowhere.

Considering I haven’t been away from home in a while… more than a year this was my first vacation since the pandemic started. It wasn’t the type of vacation I am accustomed to. I usually go somewhere alone and hike or walk until my soles peel off. I also pair it with a special event such a concert, comedy skit or theatre. This was just me sleeping properly, having lovely walks with my friend, and getting to taste the local food, including wild blueberries.

The best thing about Aberfoyle is the lack of cell reception in my opinion. My friend does not agree. Even if I’m not active on social media, I do tend to check my phone a lot, but knowing there was no way any updates would come through stopped me from doing that. So instead, I enjoyed the nature and the freedom from … well … everything.

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Aug 14 2021

The nutty story

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 10:02

A few weeks ago, I decided to lose some weight and therefore I decided I should have more healthy food in my house. In case I ever feel the urge of uncontrollable munching, at least I’d be munching on healthy food. My go to site for this is Whole Foods, and once every few months I just go there and order about 100 GBP worth of various seeds and nuts.

The last time I ordered from these guys I was still living in Edinburgh, and the courier had no trouble finding me, but in Kirkcaldy things are a little different.

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Aug 13 2021

Horses on the beach

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 12:02

This will be a short one, I don’t have much time because I need to clean my house and then I’m off to shopping and them some chores.

One of the things I always found comforting, motivating and somewhat romantic, even when done on my own is running on the beach. Since I’ve moved to a place that is 5 minutes away from the beach, I gave it a try. Well… those movies that created that picture in my head about running on the beach can go fuck themselves! Even when running on sand that is a little wet, there is no way to know which part of your foot will sink deeper into the sand and this makes it difficult to find a spot to apply pressure to push your self forward. Running on the beach is one of the most annoying, difficult, and uncomfortable things ever and if you have a weak knee like I do, or ankles you are one random moment away from spraining something. I know working out is supposed to be taxing on your body, that is why you do it after all, but damn… I tried it a few times and then said screw it and turned back to flat, stable ground or the treadmill.

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Aug 12 2021

Stop living in the past!

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 8:32

What does that even mean? The past is part of you. Whatever you went through made you the person you are today and whatever happens to you today will shape the you of tomorrow. Without your past you are nothing. Living in the past means whatever happened then is prohibiting you from living and evolving now. At least, that’s the way I see it.

It’s such a romanticized, but ultimately idiotic thing to say to somebody that dares to share with you about some sad or shocking even from their past – “stop living in the past”.  You cannot stop living in the past because the past lives in you. That can only be fixed by a lobotomy.

It is difficult to let the past go; it is difficult to accept that some things that you use to dream or work towards were never meant to be ours, or that some traumatic things cannot be undone nor prevented, and it is so easy to fall in bitterness and self-pity. However, we all need a period of self-pity sometimes, a day or more when we cry our eyes out and allow that feeling of sorry for ourselves to engulf us, but in the end, past cannot be changed. We all did the best we could in the moment with the context we were given. Growth happens when the tears of self-pity are allowed to fall and soothe the soul into acceptance.

The most obvious sign of a proper adult is the acceptance that the past cannot be changed, that we have little control over our lives and most things we think as true, might not be true tomorrow. Our past is a bunch of bricks that represent the foundation of our present character and personality. Some of those bricks are solid, some of them are fragile and crash under the weight of new experiences and memories and so they get replaced. Past is a part of us, but defines us and limits us only as much as we let it.

 

 

John Mayer has one of the best lyrics about the past that I know: “And if my past is any sign of your future /You should be warned before I let you inside” .  I’m not going to go too deep into what those two lyrics mean for me, maybe another time when I’m a little tipsy and a little more in love. ;)  But yeah, the past is a sign of your future, but future is never set in stone and life can surprise you.

Anyway, never tell somebody to stop living in the past. If they are stuck in there is for reasons that are more traumatic than you are probably suited to deal with. People stuck in the past need a psychologist, not somebody to bully them out of it or enable them to stay there. You telling them what to do, will work in the same way it works telling a quadriplegic to walk.

Stay safe, stay happy!


Aug 11 2021

The blogging list

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 3:12

I use Evernote to keep food recipes, work stuff and other notes organized and shared across all my devices. In Evernote I have a notebook called “Blog” that groups notes about technical details of the VM the blog is hosted on and ideas that I want to write about. As you can probably imagine … there are lot of notes. The funny thing is, I intended to look at them now and pick one to publish today, because I am tired and I have absolutely no idea what to write about, and I noticed that none of them is from this year. Also, most of them are from a time where mentally I was not in a good place, so I can’t see myself taking one of them and updating it so I can publish it now, because most of them do not fit my current state of mind.

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Aug 10 2021

Ikea Shenanigans

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 10:38

As you know if you’ve read me before, I became a homeowner. As a new homeowner I am in a situation I’ve never been in before: I must choose my furniture and I must make sure it fits the house and the other furniture. It took me six months, but I’ve finally decided on a dining table and a chest of drawers to store my shoes in. They got delivered by Ikea yesterday and there were a lot of boxes, to the desperation of the delivery guys that had to get them up the stairs to my flat.

From the start, something was weird with one of the boxes, because it looked like it took a beating, and somebody struggled to mend it with a lot of scotch tape, but I thought, it’s just wood, maybe it will be fine.

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