Jun 16 2017

For once I just wish somebody fought for me

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 22:13

Today is my last day as a manager. I was offered the position of course. I’m not bragging, it is not a vertical promotion, it’s a horizontal one. I did not give a clear answer, but I hinted that this is not the job for me, for more than one reason.

Anyway, I’m happy not to do management work anymore. I hate meetings, I hate excels and PPTs and people who corner you into deadlines without giving you clear specs. I left work later because I had to write a lot of emails to handover management responsibilities.

It was sort of a good day, although it was not a good week. I have insomnia again, I could barely get out of bed in the morning for two days, and the guy I’m in love with and does not reciprocate(because this is how I roll) has moved an ocean away for about six months. So, I get in my car and go home. And lo and behold the chicks downstairs took my parking space. Well, not mine because I pay for it, mine because is the only one across my house and they moved in fucking last Saturday. As I said, it is not actually mine, so I go and park my car next to the park, 5 minutes away. Not a problem, I enjoy the walk usually, but today I just walked come with tears falling from my eyes.

I just wished I had a boyfriend who would go to those bitches and tell them a few bad words. Because they are loud, and because I helped one of them two days ago when she forgot her phone in a taxi and this is what I fucking get in return.

I do my best to be a good person, but sometimes I just want to stop getting out of my home. Because I give, and I understand, and I forgive and don’t bother and I’m patient and I try and I try and I try… and for once I would like to have somebody acknowledge that I am a good person and love me for it and consider spending the rest of his or her life with me.

I just wish for once, somebody would be patient with me, somebody would try to fucking make me happy, I just wish somebody should at least try… I just wish somebody would fight for me, would defend me, just once. I know that I’m strong, and I’ve been fighting and defending myself and others until now so it’s not like I can’t do it. But I get tired, and for once I’d like somebody would fight and defend me.

Oh well, it is what it is.

Stay safe, stay happy!

[Later edit]: This is just a rant. I don’t really need a boyfriend. A father or a brother might have been more suitable for the job probably. ;)


May 26 2017

The unexpected

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 1:39

This year started with some plans being broken, so I kinda got used to the idea that nothing interesting is going to happen. Thus I just drowned myself in work. At least that was the plan, and it seemed to work, at least until the 23rd of April.

On the 23rd of April, at 3 am, I was going to bed after a full workday. As I closed my eyes, a notification appeared on my phone, because I forgot to put it on night mode. One of my favorite bands, Switchfoot, was singing in Vienna.

Opening the concert was Lifehouse.

So I got up, went to my desk and bought the ticket.

In the morning I printed it and looked at it more attentively. And that’s when it hit me. The concert was taking place at “The Filene Center”, Vienna, VA 22182. And the ticket was 55$. When I bought the ticket, it kinda bugged me that the price was in dollars, but brushed it off and clicked Buy.

Yeah, apparently there is a town named Vienna, in Virginia, US. I started laughing and thought bitterly that I have just thrown 55$ out the window, because the ticket was not refundable. But then, slowly, an idea formed in my mind. What if I go? But wait, it’s US, and I missed John Mayer’s tour in Europe. That was one of my biggest regret of the year. But what if…

So I checked. He was singing in Camden, New Jersey, on the 18th of August. And Camden is only 3 ours away by car from Vienna. And then it was set in stone. So I made myself the best birthday present ever. I bought myself a ticket to the John Mayer concert happening on my birthday.

This is how I decided to go to US. I did not plan it for half an year. I did not consult with anyone. I am going there alone. I already got my US Visa. The interview took three minutes. The waiting in queues and prints taking took 40 minutes. Driving to the embassy and back took 10 hours. But this Wednesday, I had my passport in my hands with the US Visa. So I extended my vacation and bought the plane tickets.

So… there is no way back, I am going to US. I am scared and thrilled at the same time.

Honestly, after the two previous years, I thought there is no way this year can be just as great. But apparently, it looks like it will be even better.

What else can I say? Sometimes a mistake done at 3 in the morning can turn into an beautiful plan. Talk about butterfly effect…

Stay safe, stay happy!

Tags: , , ,


Mar 17 2017

Made my day

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 0:05

I’m going to a rough period at work, I’m struggling a lot to get some work done and nothing seems to work. And my manager got sick so I had to deal with the hellfire of some releases being late. Today I was at the gym, and left without my equipment knapsack. So yeah, I am that tired, and that out of this world. I went there and I have no idea how I could focus, because all I was thinking of was how to tackle down the problem I had at work.

No I’m not an workaholic, but here’s the thing: my career, my problem solving skill, my ability to deliver high quality code and solutions is the sole source of satisfaction for me at the moment. Seriously. I was not able to buy a ticket to a John Mayer concert, the sabbatical is not happening, neither is learning to play guitar and I’m sort-of broken hearted as well. Believe me, work is all I have at the moment. If work does not bring me the satisfaction I need, I fall down into the darkness of low self-esteem and depression.

It is during this times when I start thinking about who I am and what I am actually doing. And I remember that all I wanted to become was the perfect wife and mom, I wanted the family I never had. I wanted somebody to love me and a couple of hyper-active kids. And what did I get. Apparently… the ability to make money, to inspire people, to motivate and lift them up. And I have no idea how I’m doing it, because I cannot do the same for me, at least not now.

But tonight, after a bad and disappointing day somebody’s words made my day. One of the people that bought my book, left me some messages on hangouts telling me that she likes one of my books, that she is very impressed with my work and that will help her prepare for the exam.

It is not the first time I receive thanks for one of my books. And sometimes they come at the moments then I need them the most. Thank you Sindiso Mpofu, you made my day!


Oct 12 2016

Musical perfection = John Mayer + Akua Naru

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 9:40

No need to thank me, just enjoy!


Sep 20 2015

First time in Făgărași mountains

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 13:41

This weekend I interrupted my normal routine to go hiking. I have not done this in 3 years and I missed it a lot so when given the opportunity I took it. I really like getting lost in places that civilization hasn’t managed to touch that much. I love the silence, the tranquility of secluded places in the mountains that not that many persons get to reach. In the below image you can see the mountain route in blue. I went there with two friends that knew the mountain better than I did.
Screenshot 2015-09-20 12.29.50

 

 

 

 

Continue reading “First time in Făgărași mountains”


Jan 16 2012

VirtualBox with Gentoo(4)

Category: Miscellaneous,TechnicalIuliana @ 13:58

This post is the not about the virtual machine or Gentoo, is more about setting up the tools that you will use to develop your applications and other good practices.

First, let’s talk more about environment variables. I mentioned in my previous post the JAVA_HOME variable. Most development tools need their environment variables too and they are not set up by Gentoo, so we will have to do this the way I like it, by hand. Every user has in it’s home directory – in /home/[username] (on my machine /home/jules) a file named .bashrc.The good practice is to edit this file by adding the necessary environment variables required by the tool that user will use.

1. Apache Ant

Apache Ant is a Java library and command-line tool whose mission is to drive processes described in build files as targets and extension points dependent upon each other. The main known usage of Ant is the build of Java applications. Ant supplies a number of built-in tasks allowing to compile, assemble, test and run Java applications.

It is easy to use, quite practical and I recommend it for small scale applications. The installation of Ant consists in unpacking the a

rchive, setting the ANT_HOME and adding the bin directory to the environment PATH variable of Gentoo. Also, the bin directory for Java should be added too, we’ll do that too.

To download ant, go to http://ant.apache.org and under Download menu item, there is a Binary Distributions link, click on that. On the frame on the right you will have a set of links which point to current versions of Ant. Download the tar.bz2 archive, you can use Firefox to do that or you can use wget:

# wget http://mirrors.hostingromania.ro/apache.org/ant/binaries/apache-ant-1.8.2-bin.tar.bz2

Then you have to unpack it:

# tar xpf apache-ant-1.8.2-bin.tar.bz2

After unpacking you will have a directory named apache-ant-1.8.2, usually I rename it to ant, because the version is not that important when the update is made by copying the new version content over the old one. You can copy it where you want, I usually leave it in the home directory for the current user. Then we have to set the ANT_HOME environment variable.

# cd ~ (gets you in /home/[username])
# nano -w .bashrc

Add the following lines:

# export ANT_HOME=/home/[username]/ant
# export PATH=${PATH}:${JAVA_HOME}/bin:${ANT_HOME}/bin

Save. (Ctrl+X,Y) Test the new environment variables:

# echo $ANT_HOME
# echo $PATH

Continue reading “VirtualBox with Gentoo(4)”

Tags: , ,