Jan 25 2019

Mental health

Category: English posts,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 3:14

A few days ago the company I work for organized a mental health workshop with the purpose of teaching people how to recognize signs of depressions and other mental disorders and how to provide support to their colleagues. Although the workshop should have been more interactive, because you cannot recognize signs of mental ill health in somebody if you do not talk to the person, it did its job.

One of the nice ladies started the workshop telling us that Mental health is important. Well, we were all functional adults, some of us with kids, outside and inside(one of my colleagues was pregnant)   and most of us were probably engineers so dhooh! we know how important it is.

Although in a very diplomatic manner, the other nice lady said what I’ve been believing for years: to support people with mental issues, you have to start by accepting that you might not be sane yourself. Because it is the only way you can empathize and be less incline to be judgy and avoidant. The nice lady actually said: if it were up to her the whole world would be in therapy.

It is important to prevent mental problems from appearing, but at 20+ years it is a little too late. Gratitude and kindness are always good for people, but sometime people also need a mental reset. And a reset is not always pleasant. I’m all for rainbows, and happiness and good things, but they don’t always get you where you need to be mentally. Especially when your mind is already broken. And I am sane enough to admit that there is a likely possibility.

We can nurture our mental health through exercise, nutrition, hydration, medical self care and rest. But you know how else we can nurture it? By learning to care less, just don’t give a fuck once in a while, especially when it does not directly affect you and you cannot affect it; whatever that it is. Chances are if you are reading this blog entry you are already 80% luckier then the rest of the planes population. So just allow yourself to dwell in that for a moment.

Work is stressful and stress can lead to mental disorders, but the solution is not always green walls, ambient music and more light. The solution is to make the work itself more engaging, make it so it brings satisfaction and makes people feel like they are doing something meaningful.  Because we all want to leave a mark on this world, and sometimes just spreading our genes is not enough. But hey, we all know that is rarely possible, so yeah, a green wall will do.

The stigma of having mental issues was discussed. Would you mention at your interview that you are fighting depression? Would you mention you are bipolar? Would you mention you have ADHD? Probably not. Because any company wants employees that most times can work at their full capacity and are predictable. A mental illness can make you unpredictable. So we all lie, because one cannot declare himself mentally healthy. And we take the commitment of a contract and then we support each other through any storm that comes our way. The key to mental health in the workplace is to be there for each other, in our best days and in our worst days.  The key to mental health is to treat each other as children. Children get a lot of free passes because they are children and do not know any better. Guess what? Adults are just kids with big hairy bodies.

I would have like to see more interactive exercises, that enables require us to know each other better. Because even if I speak to some people in the office quite often, I still do not know their names. I can tell you the color of their eyes and what they like to do, but names – nope. The bonus here is that when I find out their names by embarrassing myself, it will never leave my brains. I would have liked to see more emphasis on people behavioral patterns and how we should pay attention when they change, because this means that person is going through something. But then again, the whole workshop was only four hours long.

My conclusion is that, we are all mad one way or another and we do not have to feel guilty about it. We are what this society enabled us to be. So, be kind to one another, do not put the asshole label on a person forever just because they happen to have one bad day or more of them.  Do your best to listen and show some support, and the world might be a more tranquil place for all of us.

Stay safe, stay happy!

(Image source)


Jan 04 2019

Is there a country where the health system is not a mess?

Category: English posts,Miscellaneous,PersonalIuliana @ 1:37

…because if there is, and you know which it is, just share the secret with me, because I want to move there. Anyway, this blog entry is a rant against the UK health system, so at this point you might be interested in reading something else while having your coffee.

I mentioned a few entries ago that I have sprained my knee while playing football. Because I was still able to drive and walk I postponed going to a doctor, especially since I just moved to a new country and I did not have a family doctor yet. The knee was swollen for a bit, but then the swelling started going down and I could put my weight on my knee, it did not feel unstable or anything really worrisome, so I just paused all challenging physical activities to give it time to fix itself.

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Dec 12 2018

Of living in fear

Category: English posts,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 1:22

When I was a child I was afraid of God. Seriously, I was afraid of God. My mother was very religious and made sure I was raised in the arms of the loving Catholic Church. Don’t get me wrong, all the church people were great and fortunately, I did not get molested. The good-natured person I am today and my integrity I owe them both to them. But while learning the ways of the church, at some point I reached the conclusion that you could not avoid being a sinner no matter what. I mean there are three ways to sin: with your acts, with your words, and with your mind. And well, we all know kids are so great at self-control, right?

Anyway, back to the topic, for a while I was afraid of burning in hell and I was afraid of all the bad things that could happen to me or the ones I love because I was a sinner. Because we all know, God punishes sinners sometimes by hurting their loved ones.

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Nov 20 2018

What I’ve left Romania with

Category: English posts,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 1:59

There is trend going around on Romanian blogs of writing an entry to tell people what you took with you when you left the country for good. I know it is silly, but I need to post my list because it is quite peculiar.

When I left Romania I knew I did not want to ever go back, except for seeing friends and loved ones. So I sold and donated all I could. I left Romania with two big bags, a small one, my laptop knapsack and a big purse.

These bags contained the following:

  • a few days clothes, some sports equipment and shoes, including running sneakers – because I knew I would get stressed and anxious and running will help me control my emotions
  • a complete set of cosmetics a woman needs
  • my laptop, tablet, phone, adapters, one of my backup external HDD and power outlet adaptors
  • all my small electronics and repair tools for them such as my memory sticks, my soldering gun, insulating tape, all types of wires, including UTP and a hammer(yes, a hammer!) and a bunch of nails – because you never know  what you might need
  • my 24 inch monitor – because I had a book to write and needed an external monitor to speed up productivity
  • an ergonomic pillow and one set of bed linens  – to make sure the monitor will be perfectly covered and will get to UK in one piece
  • a bottle of 15 year old whiskey and 2 glasses – for nights when the running won’t get me tired enough to fall asleep and for celebrating my courage to leave the country, anytime I felt like it
  • all the important documents I might ever need to prove my identity, my studies or work experience
  • 5000£ in cash, for emergencies and rent for a few months (this added to the stress and anxiety)
  • a travel size flatiron
  • a hair drier and my hair starightener – my hair is getting longer now, so I needed these tools

All the rest of my things that I was not willing to part with, such as the piano, have been delivered about a month and a half later.


Nov 08 2018

Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw and its impact

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 21:23

I discovered Daniel Sloss about a month ago, shortly after I got a smart meter. I kid you not, I installed a smart meter, Google somehow found out about it and it recommended me a youtube video of Daniel Sloss being all Scotishly-sarcastic in an ad for smart meters. And I was hooked. This guy’s comedy is like a drug to me. And I’m not even joking, after seeing all his videos on youtube I needed more. So I followed him on twitter and on facebook.(Stoker much!?) And then I found out he had two shows on Netflix and boy I got my fix that night! I’ve seen both of them one after the other.

I loved Jigsaw, not because it was funny, but because it was so damn … raw. And because it hit close to home, even if I am not currently in a relationship. That show broke a lot of relationships and as a single person always being pitied for being single, being pushed to find someone and having my character and good nature doubted just because I don’t have a partner, I view it as a revenge of the universe on people that are in comfort relationships and lecture single people.

But why has Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw made such an impact? Why was it so successful in making people doubt thier feelings and made them put an end to thier relationships? People are stumped when they see him bragging about the number of relationships his show put an end to.

People have stayed in bad relationships since monogamy started being a thing. And they have taught thier children that this is the way things work when in comes to relationships. I know for sure my mother tried to program that into my rebel mind. And it almost worked. Thankfully, love and relationships have been such an ordeal for me that I decided 4 years ago that my happiness and my sanity are worth more than love. Don’t get me wrong, I will always give a chance to a person to make an honest woman out of me, but hoping, yearning for love is no longer the primary focus of my existence.

And back to the question now: why has Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw made such an impact? I think I have an answer for you: it had the impact it did because you would not expect a comedy show to provide you that kind of epiphany. You go to comedy shows to laugh and forget about your problems, you don’t go there to find out you have problems you did not know about and you definetly are not going to comedy shows for counseling. Somethimes I think Jigsaw is a psychology session undercover. Also Daniel’s age might be a factor for this. If George Carlin would have made Jigsaw, people would have laughed and said “That’s old age right there, these are the kind of epiphanies you have when you are close enough to death!” And humanity has this stupid habit of respecting old people for thier age, but rarely learning from thier experiencr and dismissing them as old-age ramblings. But when some merely 26 year old guy comes to you with this kind of wisdom, you are just … shocked. And a shock is what really changes a person and makes he or she dare to ask the right questions.

Also, there is human nature. Once Daniel’s show has started taking off as a bad relationship panaccea, people either recommended it to friends in bad relationships hoping it would work its “magic” or people in relationships watched it as a dare. This is why if there ever was a video like the one in “The ring”, humanity will most probably go extinct.

So Daniel, since you’ve been so great at destroying relationships, I suggest your next show to be about climate change. Because if you made so many people actually think about their relationships, instead of just being in them, maybe you can do the same for climate change.

And I’m writing this from my phone, because I’m in Stirling to see his last comedy show: “X”. I really hope is as good as the others two, because I did not make any research about it to keep the element of surprise. And I will tell you all about it tomorrow.

Or maybe not. :D

Stay safe , stay happy!

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Oct 28 2018

Edinburgh in autumn

Category: English postsIuliana @ 1:00

The title says it all. There is nothing that I can say to describe how beautiful this city is, especially dressed in the colors of autumn. So I will let the following pictures do the talking.

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Oct 18 2018

Tinder HowTo

Category: English posts,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 22:24

After moving to this country and waiting for a little time to get used to it (lies, I actually just needed to finish the book, get some sleep and make sure this company still wants me after three months) somehow I found again the bravery to install Tinder. This is the fourth time I install this damn application and if my past is any sign of my future, it will not be the last time I do this. Sure, there are other ways, there are quite a few dating sites in the UK, but most of them require a subscription to allow exchanges of messages between parties. And I’m not that desperate to pay to meet someone. At least not yet, who knows what the future holds?

In Romania I did not have much luck with Tinder, because Romanian men are either traditionalists or dickheads, or both. Ok, ok… not all of them. But the good ones are all taken or they have moved out of the country. Or they might be gay. (sic!) In the spirit of political correctness, I will be waiting a few more years until I will write a post about those experiences. Because it is better to look at them more maturely, and those guys probably will be mature enough to have a laugh about it as well. Hopefully.

I decided to install Tinder and try to meet some people here, because … mostly because I don’t know anyone here and just having a beer alone in a bar does not do the trick, because British people are very polite and respectful. So much that if they see you drinking alone, they assume you want it that way. After scanning a lot of men pictures over the years, I think I should give a few tips to men trying to … whatever on Tinder.
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