Mar 04 2019

When real life copies art

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 1:27

I haven’t been sick too many times in my life, at least not many of the problems I’ve had required me going to the hospital. So I think I can be considered quite lucky. I was hospitalized as a child only once for the treatment of measles. And I remember having a lot of fun. I will never understand why my parents did not leave me in there with a lot of books to keep me occupied. And since I was in a room with four other kids, all with measles we found ways to keep ourselves busy. We had one cupboard with a broken door. I managed to get myself locked in it. I saved the syringes, filled them with water and attacked nurses and doctors from our window. Until we got caught and nurses would not leave the syringes in our garbage bin anymore. And many more. Although sick, I was bored out of my mind and very creative. But I digress.

Continue reading “When real life copies art”

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Nov 08 2018

Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw and its impact

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 21:23

I discovered Daniel Sloss about a month ago, shortly after I got a smart meter. I kid you not, I installed a smart meter, Google somehow found out about it and it recommended me a youtube video of Daniel Sloss being all Scotishly-sarcastic in an ad for smart meters. And I was hooked. This guy’s comedy is like a drug to me. And I’m not even joking, after seeing all his videos on youtube I needed more. So I followed him on twitter and on facebook.(Stoker much!?) And then I found out he had two shows on Netflix and boy I got my fix that night! I’ve seen both of them one after the other.

I loved Jigsaw, not because it was funny, but because it was so damn … raw. And because it hit close to home, even if I am not currently in a relationship. That show broke a lot of relationships and as a single person always being pitied for being single, being pushed to find someone and having my character and good nature doubted just because I don’t have a partner, I view it as a revenge of the universe on people that are in comfort relationships and lecture single people.

But why has Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw made such an impact? Why was it so successful in making people doubt thier feelings and made them put an end to thier relationships? People are stumped when they see him bragging about the number of relationships his show put an end to.

People have stayed in bad relationships since monogamy started being a thing. And they have taught thier children that this is the way things work when in comes to relationships. I know for sure my mother tried to program that into my rebel mind. And it almost worked. Thankfully, love and relationships have been such an ordeal for me that I decided 4 years ago that my happiness and my sanity are worth more than love. Don’t get me wrong, I will always give a chance to a person to make an honest woman out of me, but hoping, yearning for love is no longer the primary focus of my existence.

And back to the question now: why has Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw made such an impact? I think I have an answer for you: it had the impact it did because you would not expect a comedy show to provide you that kind of epiphany. You go to comedy shows to laugh and forget about your problems, you don’t go there to find out you have problems you did not know about and you definetly are not going to comedy shows for counseling. Somethimes I think Jigsaw is a psychology session undercover. Also Daniel’s age might be a factor for this. If George Carlin would have made Jigsaw, people would have laughed and said “That’s old age right there, these are the kind of epiphanies you have when you are close enough to death!” And humanity has this stupid habit of respecting old people for thier age, but rarely learning from thier experiencr and dismissing them as old-age ramblings. But when some merely 26 year old guy comes to you with this kind of wisdom, you are just … shocked. And a shock is what really changes a person and makes he or she dare to ask the right questions.

Also, there is human nature. Once Daniel’s show has started taking off as a bad relationship panaccea, people either recommended it to friends in bad relationships hoping it would work its “magic” or people in relationships watched it as a dare. This is why if there ever was a video like the one in “The ring”, humanity will most probably go extinct.

So Daniel, since you’ve been so great at destroying relationships, I suggest your next show to be about climate change. Because if you made so many people actually think about their relationships, instead of just being in them, maybe you can do the same for climate change.

And I’m writing this from my phone, because I’m in Stirling to see his last comedy show: “X”. I really hope is as good as the others two, because I did not make any research about it to keep the element of surprise. And I will tell you all about it tomorrow.

Or maybe not. :D

Stay safe , stay happy!

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Oct 05 2018

Iuliana’s miss-happenings

Category: Funny,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 19:52

I’m not good with people. In a way, this is expected from a former(actual?) nerd, so it’s not that bad. But when I am actually interested in dating someone, you can imagine why this is a more than a little inconvenient.

There is a fine line between being sort of unapproachable and tickling the curiosity sense of men and not being interesting at all. I do not know where that line is. And so far I managed to cross it every time and in such a brusque manner, that I still do not understand how I do it, or when, or why!!??

This entry has been waiting in the draft folder for over a year, I cannot for the life of me remember the intention behind writing it. But here we go. Around that time, I had a chat with a friend and she was asking me about the company party, and if I’ve met anyone interesting there. Because this is a bonus of working for a big international company that has offices around the world, big parties where you can meet a lot of new people. And I spilled all the beans and told her I met a guy and totally blew it, by forgetting how to drink beer. Yes, this one of my seduction moves.

In my defense, I sort of moved the glass upward more than I should have because I was so focused on his face and hung up on any word he said, and managed to spill beer on my face in a very obvious way. Beer is good for the skin though, so at least there’s that.  My friend was amused and said that is good because my interest would be obvious in this case, so it should lead to something. I’m not so sure being ridiculous qualifies.

So yeah, dude, in case you did not figure it out at the time, I drenched my face in beer because I was mesmerized by how wonderful you were, not because  I’m overall clumsy and awkward.

And now, the cherry on top… this entry has been in the draft directory that I ‘m not sure who the awesome guy was.

Life is good though!

Stay safe, stay happy! (And it’s Friday, so go party!)

Jan 08 2018

Work memes

Category: FunnyIuliana @ 14:39


Jan 06 2017

Aventurile neștiute ale unui filtru de aspirator

Category: Funny,Romanian postsIuliana @ 0:15

Acum doi ani și ceva m-am mutat în Sibiu. Am venit aici cu un laptop, un telefon, o pisica și un maldăr de haine. Orice am avut nevoie după, am cumpărat. Prima achiziție a fost un aspirator Gorenje fără sac, pentru că pot face multe lucruri, dar să locuiesc într-o casă cu praf  nu e unul dintre ele. Am folosit aspiratorul ăla destul de mult și având în vedere că am pisică, e clar este foarte util și necesar. Numai că la un moment anul trecut, am remarcat că dispăruse filtrul de praf. Aspiratorul are doua filtre: unul din hârtie, unul din burete. Cel din burete este foarte util pentru că previne îmbâcsirea celui de hârtie și de asemenea poate fi spălat. Normal că îmi venea să îmi trag palme, pentru că era clar că am reușit să arunc filtrul ăla când am golit containerul de praf.

Din când în când îmi aduceam aminte de filtrul ăla și mai dădeam o tură prin Dedeman sperând să găsesc unul de cumpărat. Dar n-am avut noroc. Cred că le-am menționat și colegilor de la serviciu faptul că nu îmi aduc aminte când am reușit să rătăcesc filtrul și că îmi caut altul. Într-un final, în decembrie anul trecut am cedat nervos și mi-am comandat de pe emag niște filtre pentru un alt model de aspirator, pe care urma să le cosmetizez să se potrivească cu modelul meu de aspirator. Desigur, încă nu am apucat să fac asta, pentru că următoarea zi de curățenie pentru mine este ziua de 7 ianuarie, deci probabil operațiunea ar fi urmat să aibă loc în dimineața acelei zile.

Dar n-a mai fost să fie. Azi întorcându-mă de cosmeticiană, intru pe poartă și observ că toate containerele de gunoi sunt aranjate frumos la locul lor. De obicei mă uit la ele doar de la dreapta la stânga, când ies din casă să duc gunoiul și trebuie să îl sortez. Dar astăzi din nu știu ce motiv, m-am uitat la ele când am intrat în curte, de la stânga la dreapta și atunci l-am observat. În colțul din stânga al suportului pe care stau containerele, plin de praf și semințe de plante, stătea chircit filtrul meu de aspirator. Nu mi-a venit să cred. Se zice că găsești mereu ceea ce ai nevoie atunci când încetezi să cauți, dar totuși… Să apară filtrul aspiratorului la un an distanță de la dispariție? Știu sigur că e al meu, dimensiunile și culoarea se potrivesc. Nu pot decât să mă întreb decât cum naiba a scăpat de curățenia făcută de proprietară până acum? Pentru că știu sigur că s-a făcut curățenie în curte de câteva ori anul ăsta.

Așa că l-am ridicat cu două degețele, l-am spălat bine și acum e pregătit din nou de muncă. După un an de sabatical.

Morala poveștii: good things come to those who wait, but sometimes all you need is a blast from the past.

Oct 11 2016

We are all mad in one way or another

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 1:12

When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut. Why? Because I grew up with positive stories in which good deeds were always compensated with good deeds, in which love was always reciprocal and villains were always punished. The reality was different, my reality was brutal. There were no princesses, no dragons and villains got away most of the times, but there was a promise of hell. Yeah, that made me sleep better.

So I wanted to be an astronaut, I really wanted to leave this bloody planet behind.

Then I grew up and reality has gotten even more unfair. My solution? Get lost in books, dreams and in my own mind. So I decided I wanted to write my stories and share them with the world. That did not work either. Then I thought I could be a doctor and save people and do good deeds like the heroes in my stories. That did not happen either.

I am now an engineer, a software engineer. And although many people might say this is not so great, I know better. My talent and passion to understand how things work, to take them apart, replacing bad parts and put them together again fits so well with my job that it scares me sometimes. I am not the greatest software engineer in the world, I am not the greatest programmer either. As an Architect, I consider myself quite mediocre. But I have this yearning of getting from A to B, this obsession of always finding a solution, that does not go away until the deed is done. There is this fulfillment in finding a solution after a struggle and a lot of research that I can compare it to an orgasm, an intellectual orgasm.

Call me mad, call me workaholic, I really don’t care. I just had three intellectual orgasms today, so I’ m going to bed satisfied. This is what I call an awesome Monday.

Oct 02 2016

An innocent joke

Category: Funny,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 21:32

It is a myth that birthmarks are where you were wounded when you died in a previous life.

Christians, I have very good news for you. I have a birthmark on one of my palms and one right under my left breast, therefore I am Jesus.