Mar 03 2011

Bitches to the End…

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 14:52

(Primit pe email)

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, “I’ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.”
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
“Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. So, let’s head to the club and have a martini.”

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. “I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS…”
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, “Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?”

“Because I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.”
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, “Putting Your Affairs In Order.”

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

Women are angels, but, when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly on a broomstick.
We’re flexible like that.


Oct 28 2010

And so you code

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 10:43


Oct 15 2010

Life explained in Java Exceptions

Category: English posts,Funny,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 14:35

Life.


Sep 18 2010

Iau lucrurile prea în serios

Category: Funny,TechnicalIuliana @ 22:23

Vineri am primit de la o persoană de pe messenger un link care ducea spre o discuţie de pe un site celebru de IT-işti. Ei bine, de vineri încoace când prind ceva timp liber continui să citesc postul în cauză. Nu mă pot controla pur şi simplu, citesc, râd de una singură ca apucata, iau o pauză să îmi revin, apoi citesc din nou. Este vorba în el despre cele mai comice comentarii în cod întâlnite în câmpul muncii.

Această discuţie de asemenea m-a făcut să ajung la următoarea concluzie: iau lucrurile prea în serios. Eu nu m-am gândit niciodată să folosesc comentarii de tipul acelora. Poate şi fiindcă într-un mod foarte ciudat, cam orice cod scriu de obicei îl şi înţeleg cum merge şi dacă îl comentez în comentez încât să înţeleagă oricine ce fac eu acolo, deşi de multe ori nici asta nu e nevoie pentru că am obsesia de a denumi orice în stilul ChestiaCareFaceAsta. La partea de css, care m-a ţinut o săptămână pe loc cu ceva aş putea scrie chestii de genul, dar la urma urmei css ţine de web design şi nu de programare, deci se explică oarecum.

Dacă lucraţi în domeniu daţi click pe linkul acela. Vă veţi amuza copios. Aveţi grijă, dă dependenţă!
Exemple:

Catch (Exception e) {
//eat it
}

********
// Houston, we have a problem
********
// Remove this if you wanna be fired
********
i++; // increment variable i
********
I believe in JBoss somewhere there was a line that read
return null; //Not really null
I always liked that line.
********
/*And now, getting all of that to look half decent in the retarded step brother of the browser family, Internet Fucking Explorer */
********
// this error could never happen
And then — customer’s call saying he sees an error message saying “this error could never happen”
********
// Yes…I know this is repusive and stupid.
// But < %CompanyOwnerOrManagerToken%>, not knowing a thing about code,
// demanded I do it anyways. SO, go crap on their desk, not mine.
// K THX BYE
********
// BEGIN HACK

// END HACK: I feel dirty.

Tags:


Jun 27 2010

Prea tare

Category: Funny,TechnicalIuliana @ 14:19


Jun 14 2010

Încă unul…

Category: English posts,FunnyIuliana @ 23:06

Iubi, spune-mi ceva dulce…
Ăăă…Căpşuni !?

English version

My love, tell me something sweet…
Umm… strawberries ?!

© 2010 Seaqxx Toate drepturile rezervate. Nu prelua fără să mă întrebi!


Jun 13 2010

Cum merg lucrurile…

Category: English posts,Funny,TechnicalIuliana @ 23:33

Q:Cum merg lucrurile într-o familie de programatori?
A:Simplu, ea compilează, el execută.

English version

Q:How do things work in a family of programmers?
A:Very well, actually. She compiles, he executes.

© 2010 Seaqxx Toate drepturile rezervate. Nu prelua fără să mă întrebi!


(Da, e banc patentat. L-am născocit azi.)