May 23 2016

Near Miss

Category: English posts,PersonalIuliana @ 10:41

Some time ago I changed my job. And the new job not only requires that I travel abroad a lot, but it also allows me to go on vacation abroad in the places I always wanted to visit but could not afford to. For a while I kept joking with my friends that I was flying for so long and nothing interesting happened, so I have no turbulence scary story to tell. But last time I came back from Amsterdam, the plane went through some serious turbulence. But as the plane jumped up and down I could feel my heart in my throat and my mind started racing. A lot of weird thoughts and memories were fighting for what could have been the last moments of my consciousness. This is how it went, sort of.

If I die now who will remember me? Will anyone think of me next year, what about the one after that? Will somebody have imaginary conversations with me as I have with Bogdan? Aww damn, I’m not sure I remember where his picture is. I should frame that. If I wouldn’t die now, what else could I accomplish? Sure, I have a wonderful career. I am appreciated and I am loved. I am happy. I have lost and I have gained, but if I don’t die what else is there? Maybe I’ll have a beautiful family someday, maybe I will do something to change the world. Maybe I’ll manage to travel to Mars before I die. I really wanted to be there and make it happen maybe, or at least see it happen, feel it happen. And aside of it all, before I die I really just want to fall in love one more time, truly, madly, deeply, completely. I don’t care if I won’t get to spend the rest of my life with that person. I don’t really care if he or she will not love me, or will hurt me. I just want to meet him or her and just fall in love again.

Oh wait, the turbulence stopped. I’ll go back to reading “Bucky F*cking Dent“. All that other stuff can wait at least until I finish this book. ;)

Stay safe, stay happy!

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