Sep 29 2016

Iuliana’s log, Stardate 13340.23

Category: English posts,PersonalIuliana @ 22:20

In the light of recent events I was thinking why I never stayed friends with my ex-boyfriends. I have people around me that managed to stay friends with their exes and I envy them a little. I always thought myself to be a bad person because I could not stay friends with my exes, but I’m trying to change my mind. I am not a bad person, I’m just not keen on hope. If there is something that I hate quite a lot is hope. Here’s the thing. When a relationship ends is a failure, a failure that one party or both have the hope of fixing. When only one party has the hope, that party feels hurt and guilty of not being able to figure out something to do the fixing. If the relationship did not ended because of some horrendous act of one of the parties, but just stupid context mismatch there are two parties that have the hope. They might even try to rekindle and end up drifting more apart. Hope is toxic. Hope stops you from moving on. Hope keeps you stuck.

If you really care about that person, if you just want to be altruistic, or if you truly are a good person, when ending a relationship, leave no room for hope. Just leave. Break all links. Stop any contact. Just detach from the other person’s life. Stay away. Because any smile, contact keeps hope alive and prolongs the agony and prevents the other from moving on.

If you do this, try to be friends with somebody that loved you, you my dear are a narcissistic asshole. You are not nice, you are not a good person. Stop lying to yourself. But then again, if you are a freaking psychopath, you won’t care, right?

So, dear humans stuck in a friendship with a ex, if it hurts get out of there. You do not owe them anything.

Leave a Reply