Dec 21 2016

The meaning of my tattoos

Category: English posts,PersonalIuliana @ 1:24

I’ve worked on my books for two years and I managed to function with 3 to 5 hours of sleep during this time. I was expecting to sleep a lot after getting them done. But then the accident happened and I had a little bit of insomnia and nightmares caused by that. When this was done, I was actually able to sleep and I was quite happy about it. But the previous Friday something changed. Something curious happened that I cannot write about yet, maybe because it is hard to define it. And since then my insomnia came back. And my dear friends and readers you will benefit from this, until whiskey starts to work properly as a sleeping pill. Because I am going to start writing often again. So, here goes nothing.

Recently somebody I met asked me about my tattoos. And I surprised myself giving different explanations for them and explaining why I will probably never get them removed. The best thing about my tattoos is that, aside for being anchors to memories they are symbols of personal beliefs, perfect representation of who I am and who I hope to continue being. As time goes by, they gain more meaning, they grow as I do. I have a friend that has an 18 years old son that wants a tattoo and he is terrorizing his mom with this. Until now I could not advise her how to convince him to think about this very well, but I hope this post will do it for me. Let’s discuss them one by one.

The Atom
This is my first tattoo. It represents my acceptance of the fact that little is under my control because everything that happens in this world is the result of the interaction between these little particles. It also depicts my passion for science in general and my curiosity regarding what makes things tick. I do not think I will ever change my mind and stop liking science, unless something happens to my brain, like cancer or a lobotomy. So there is no way I will ever consider removing it. This tattoo is an anchor for the second biggest change in my life so far: moving to Sibiu. I had this design for four years on my computer, and every now and then I looked at it and planned that someday I will imprint it on my skin. And when the moment fit I did it.
Darwin’s evolution tree
This is my second tattoo, it is a simple version of Darwin’s species evolution tree. The full design did not fit my hand. :D When I had it done I thought about it as a mark of my evolution from the feeble and fragile girl I used to be to this stronger version of myself, that I finally admire and love. It is also an anchor of the Colectiv incident. It is a sign that life goes on (if I would have chosen to work in the Bucharest office for this company, I would have been in that club that night), it’s my monument for the lives affected by that fire. Currently it is still a sign of evolution. Great minds accept that they do not know nothing for certain and they must always be curious and willing to learn, grow, evolve. This tattoo reminds me every time I look at it that vehement beliefs are symptoms of a narrow mind, so I should manage to keep my integrity while accepting that there is always a little chance that I might be wrong. So I must keep my mind flexible and growing. I never want for this tattoo to stop representing me.

Still alive, still able to love

When I decided to have it done, it was supposed to be an anchor for the memory of the first man I ever loved and that died 15 years ago. The original design had some roman numerals under it: the date of this birth and the day of his death. But the tattoo artist expressed his concern that the characters will blend in time, so I gave them up. After I had the accident the tattoo changed its meaning. Shortly after the accident, I also had to give up trying to win the heart of a man I loved, as he was not meant for me, nor good for me.(although quite a nice person after all, but a little broken, as all of us are) But meeting him, gave me hope that there is still a chance for me to love and be loved, because honestly I kinda gave up the hope of this ever happening to me a long time ago. So this is how this tattoo gained its full meaning. I am still alive, still able to love. And I have all the time in the world to find the person that fits me best. And until I meet him I will continue improving myself so he gets to meet the best version of me.

This is the meaning of my tattoos. There will probably be more, because as time goes by, I will change, more and more things will define me, more and more events will leave their mark on my mind and soul. So I will probably decide to mark them on my skin as well. They are not art, they are not something that make me special in the eyes of others. They are made for me. They say something about me, something that I hope will never change.

Stay  safe, stay happy!

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One Response to “The meaning of my tattoos”

  1. Some old college guy says:

    Tattoo one plus tattoo two equals goo.gl/xubAxh

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