Mar 07 2017

Just in a damn fine good mood

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:03

I started doing a lot of things this year. I am slowly steering my career into a new direction, I am writing a new book, I have at least two teaching activities and I am getting fit.(Or die trying :D) Sometimes it seems as I am biting more than I can chew, but then again I know myself better now. I lived for many years not trusting myself and always doubting my will and my abilities. Sometimes I still do that verbally. Sometimes I still do that in my mind. But when I lift my head up from my pillow and I see the sun shining in my window, I know that this new day, is just another day that if I use correctly it will bring me closer to my purpose.

What’s my purpose? To make this year a little bit better than the last one. To make me a little bit better this year. To bring my contribution to making my small universe a little bit better.

Sure, there will be stormy days, there will be bad troughs and low self-esteem. But they will pass. They always do.

I’m feeling particularly optimistic today, no idea why. It wasn’t such a good day, but here I am, after a good movie and some Sinatra, thinking positively about tomorrow.

I’ve been thinking a lot these days. You see, I had some many plans for this year. I wanted to take a sabbatical. I wanted to listen to John Mayer sing live. I wanted to go to Australia. Maybe US. I wanted to buy a house. I wanted to fall in love and try being with someone again. I wanted to learn to play guitar. I wanted to get my motorbike drivers license and a motorbike. None of this will happen, but some other things that I did not plan for will. And they are nonetheless amazing. And I am happy and grateful. There is one thing this year that might happen that will make me the happiest I’ve been in my lifetime. I’ll tell you about it in a month or so.

Sure, nothing in the TODO list will get done this year. But at least I’ve managed to get all my ducks in a row and get my shit together. That’s gotta count for something. ;)

After how my life started and how it unfolded over the years, I never thought I deserve to be this happy. I guess I was wrong.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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