Mar 27 2017

Today’s good manners code

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 0:55

In the image on the left there is a picture of the book I’m reading now. It is in Romanian and it is called Today’s good manners code.
It’s not that I lack manners, nor I want to learn how to act as a princess, but I’m just curious how much manners I already have.

A while ago, I had the intention to write a post about titles and what they really mean. I did some fast-scanning of my blog and realized that I did not do it. I wanted to say something like this, if you were given a certain title in a certain context, or small society, or universe you are part of, if you do not act the part perfectly, the title means nothing. And I wanted to give myself as an example. I only mention my company given title if somebody asks me, otherwise I am just Iuliana from the XBRL team. Why ? Because the work I currently do, does not match the title. They call me a software architect, but I haven’t designed a full software solution since I got promoted. So I don’t feel comfortable when being called a software architect, thus I don’t mention the title in social situations unless asked. Actually, I go so far and not mention my title even in work situations. I let other people that know me mention it.

And apparently, according to this book, this is the right way to go. Of course, I was not mentioning the title for other reasons, but in my world, still counts. And when writing these lines, I can only think of president Trump. He’s got the title, but he does not have the behaviour, nor the manners, nor the expertise. Must really suck being him. If he is not retarded and totally oblivious to the world around him, he probably knows this too. And he probably feels like shit.

Another thing this books says is that you should never refer to your superior as boss.  Apparently it is impolite to do so, and it is most of the times used sarcastically, or it is used by ass-kissers. How should you refer to your boss then? Just call him sir or mister, and you can also add his family name, probably if he is a good guy, he will tell you to call him by is last name quite soon into the first interaction.

Also, this book is the one that basically convinced me to never write about politics ever again.  Also religion should never be a topic as well. These two topics are known to cause fervent disagreements which can actually dissolve friendships. Giving up politics was easy, but I cannot give up criticizing religions tough, especially since my almost 18 years of being in the church quire, basically growing up in the church and the fact that I’ve actually read a few versions of the bible gives me quite a lot of expertise.

I’ll probably come back with some more details related to what I read in this book, other sources of inspiration I do not really have at the moment.

Stay safe, stay happy!

4 Responses to “Today’s good manners code”

  1. André says:

    Looks like you’ve been through some kind of impostor syndrome.

  2. Iuliana says:

    We like to give names to peculiar human behaviors. My psychologist says I’m mentally healthy though.;) I have the tendency to believe it.

  3. Cristina says:

    Way to go Iuliana! By working closely with you on projects, I know for sure you are 100% qualified for the position of Software Architect! Even when the work needed to be done on a project is not always inline with the title … That pressure on women to be “likable”, behave in a certain way, look a certain way is not needed! I guess we all just need to be ourselves as the famous quote says: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

  4. Iuliana says:

    Thank you. For me it is not about gender, it’s just … I let my reputation precede me. :)

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