Aug 22 2017

The US adventure(part 12): that one gesture

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:23

August 22nd is the day when I got close to the Atlantic Ocean in the South. The first city in my way was Charleston. I stopped there for a walk down the beach, a stroll through the city market and a fancy lunch. Charleston is one of the oldest cities in US and this is quite obvious from its architecture. It’s a really cozy town, with a nice pier and park and a culture of hand made things. I think this town might actually have Irish or Scotish roots, because I recognised some symbols and motives in their handiwork. I loved this city and I would have loved to stay there more, but I needed to get to Myrtle Beach. And now, this is going to turn into one of those posts you like reading on this blog, probably.

If you followed my itinerary until now, you might think it makes no sense to go south, the wisest choice would have been to go to New York. But here is where my heart intervened, because there was somebody in Myrtle Beach I would have loved to see. Thus I acted as the responsible adult that I am, and just got a ticket to Atlanta and assumed the responsibility of my stupid actions caused by my fondness for somebody.

I probably written about him here before, I probably mentioned him here and there, and there is so much I want to write about him and I could probably do it because he’s never shown any interest in reading my blog. But it feels wrong, because I would write only about my perception of him. And my perception is known not to be quite on point with handsome men. What I can tell you is that I feel something for him that I cannot properly define. He fascinates me and he scares me at the same time. He is different from any of the men I’ve met before, but there are some things about him that bug the hell out of me and generate a lot of conflicting feelings. I have moments when I wish I’d never met him, I have moments when I want to fuck his brains out in ways he never imagines I can, there are moments when I just want to protect him and kick the asses of those I know that hurt him, there are moments when I miss him, there are moments when I think it would be better if we never intersect again. I feel attracted to him with the same intensity I want to run away from him. When I decided I would shape my itinerary to see him, it seemed like a good idea. In the days before this was about to happen I had a panic attack and hoped he would not have the time to see me. Does this make any sense to you? Because it sure does not make any sense to me.

So there I was, on my way to Myrtle Beach, not knowing what will happen, a little bit happy to see him and a little bit scared too. We’ve talked before and I knew he had time to see me that evening, so there was no way out now. But standing across from him, in that bar next to the lake, I heard him say that he has about three days when he finishes work earlier and we could see each other and I could not believe it. Mostly because in three days I had to be back in Atlanta, on my way home. And I did not know what to think, how oblivious can he be? Did he not understand that my flexibility on where and when I stay here was limited, and even if he is as dear to me as my own heart, I could not plan on staying more in the city where he was, without looking like a silly woman? But there was another thing, it was the first time he expressed explicit desire to spend time with me and it flattered me and scared me at the same time. I was not used to this person. He’s always like that, I have no idea how to interpret most of the things he says and does. So I just hang around, I wait and I listen. I will be there when he needs me to be for almost anything. Yeah, I might be crushing for this guy like a plane with all engines dead, but I do have one lame parachute.

What can I say about Myrtle Beach? From the first miles into it, I decided I did not like it. There were banners everywhere promising free or reduced stuff. One on top of the other, with red lights, with yellow lights, more than one on the same shop and so on. It was creepy, after the elegant and classic Charleston.

So there I was, into a city so commercial that I would have never chosen to visit unless he was there. I probably did the most romantic thing I ever did in my life for somebody and he will never acknowledge it. On well, life’s a beach. ;)

I will not tell you more about the rest of the night, it just involved some crappy nachos, a lot of conversation and a lot of beer. Nothing special really, not to you. ;)

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