Jul 29 2018

The signs you miss

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 14:43

A few days ago while ding house chores and being in one of my mind wondering travels I’ve had some interesting thoughts I’d like to share.

I haven’t dated in a while and honestly I don’t really miss it. I’ve been so busy with keeping up a house, a full time job, a part time job and making sure to keep in touch with friends so the relationship don’t die because of distance that I barely had time for anything else. But friends and family are worried for me, because they are uneasy with the thought that if something bad happens to be, I have nobody close to me to protect me and take care of me if worst comes to worst. And in expressing their fears they remind me that I am … alone.

So two days ago I was ruminating over my past relationships and how I’ve felt. And I noticed something. I am passionate about music and usually the music I listen to reflects the way I feel. The song that matched what I felt during the most time in my previous relationship is this one:

If you listen to the lyrics, you will realize that they describe the feeling over a relationship that is over. So I felt that the relationship is over and my desire to black out the sun represented the fact that I did not want the light to shine over the truth of that fact.

I also used to listen to Vertical Horizon a lot, and although the sound of their music is amazing, the lyrics are mostly about feelings that are not reciprocated.

When I fell in love with my first boyfriend, I was a Savage Garden fan, and when thinking of him this is what rang in my years:

And when I was with him, the soundtrack was this:

The last time I fell in love, there was a different tune:

And also this, because he was a total mystery and I guess I had a feeling that nothing will come of our interactions.

But nevertheless, he is a wonderful human being and I was just happy to be spending some time with him.

And considering the fact that I moved to a rainy country, probably the next time I fall in love this is what I will sing in my head. :)

So, take a look at yourself and what music you are listening to, it might reflect feelings that are difficult to admit. I was an idiot and did not listen to my instinct or pay attention to the music I was listening then. Or maybe I was just to weak to make the right decisions. I am human, after all. But maybe reading what I write helps somebody to open their eyes and avoid my mistakes.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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