Aug 09 2018

Been there, done that, sadly no T-Shirt

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 22:09

I think I’ve mentioned around here that my family and most of my friends are worried of me being single for so long.  It’s tiring to keep repeating that I am ok, that I am happy and I don’t miss being in a relationship. Actually, to be honest these four years have been the best years of my life so far. And this kind of freedom and peace can get addictive; I am aware of it. I was always afraid of this, that if I ever end up alone for a longer period of time I will be no longer able to commit to a relationship again. But as life is supposed to be better in two I haven’t given up the idea yet. I accept the fact that it might happen at some point, I might meet someone that will feel better being close with, than without. But at the same time I am at peace with the fact that it might never happen. So, I’m done hoping, yearning and looking for it. When I was young every guy that gave me some attention would be scanned for signs that he might be “the one”.  But I’m not young anymore, I am mature and wiser now.

I am aware that I work a lot. Time is a very limited resource and when you live alone most of it is occupied  with keeping house, work and your free-time activities.  And I also have a cat. And I just moved to a new country. The little spare time I have I spend it sleeping, like normal adults. :)) None of my activities will lead me to meet “the one”. Because the people I interract with are all colleagues, and when it comes to work I always kept a little distance and never gotten personal. It’s a work ethic that I always had and it is difficult to go against it. So, this leaves me with zero chances of meeting someone. 

So I did something that a mature person would do. I subscribed to a speed dating event organized by these guys. I do not want to force things, but men won’t start falling out of the sky for me, right? And the event was tonight.

Two day before I started feeling the normal anxiety. I don’t really have time to date. I don’t really want this. What should I wear? Should I leave directly from work? Should I take the car to work, leave it in the parking lot and come back after the event and drive home? Would I be able to drive with heels? Do I still know how to walk properly in heels? WTF did I subscribed for this? And the ticket was 20 pounds ffs… In the end I made myself pretty, I wore my red dress that turns male brains into mush, I took an Uber to allow myself a glass of wine to tone down the anxiety and there I went. And I got there. And I had my wine. On the house, because the event was cancelled and apparently nobody told me about it. And since I was out into town in this lovely restaurant I also had dinner. So I basically went on a date with myself. I’m not even sorry. The wine was good and the dinner was fancy and tasty.

You know what I’m sorry about though? My time. I wasted precious time being anxious about this, preparing for this. I never really had any expectations to meet “the one”, I know how peculiar I can be. I’m also sorry about the money. 20 pounds the ticket and 12 pounds the Uber; that would have been my Crabbies supply for two weeks. And I love Crabbies ginger beer. And I’m a little saddened by the fact that I will probably never go to a speed dating event ever again, because now I just cannot take this kind of things seriously anymore. And if I don’t get my money back, this will be the first crappy service I payed for here. This disproves my theory that “services are more expensive in this country, but this is because they are worth it“. And this is the most important thing that I really am sorry for.

Later Edit: I am getting my money back. All good. Theory still stands. :D

Stay safe, stay happy!

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