Oct 03 2018

Late night thoughts

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:50

Humans are hung up on the myth of “the one”. We write songs, we write novels and we live our lives hoping we meet “the one”. This person should complete us, should make us feel whole, should fix everything that is wrong inside and outside of us and provide a refuge in the midst of all that is shitty around us. And it is a great myth to hold on to, it’s a nice dream to have and there is no expiration date. Because you can hope meeting the one until the day that you die.

So we live, and we wait for that moment to happen. To meet a person that will freeze time at the first contact. To meet the person that when you first see, an accidental ray of sunshine will isolate them from all the greyness and your heart will skip a beat and you will know.

I was a firm believer in this myth. The first time I met him I knew there was something about him. Because I couldn’t stop looking at him. I was so awkward and did not want him to find me creepy and tried to avoid looking directly at him, but I couldn’t stop looking at him. It’s like time stopped when we were introduced and we shook hands. I still remember his bony white hand and the long fingers squeezing my hand.

And then he died. Poof! Gone. What was I supposed to do? Live my life waiting to die and hoping in an afterlife with him? Because even if I wasn’t a believer, the shoes of a person that is no longer present are some big shoes another person must fill. And they never will. And rationally you know it is absurd to expect them to, but chemicals in our brains don’t really give a rats ass about this.

I was watching a clip today of one of my beloved artists and he was asked how he knew his wife was the one. And it made it sound so simple and obvious. There was no ray of sunshine, no frozen time, just great chemistry. Which is what I believe now after so many years of being an adult and meeting other adults. It all starts here: chemistry.

But well, there are so many things in the middle. The good news: natural chemistry is always reciprocated. The bad news: you can have chemistry with people that do not fit your character. Because chemistry is what brings you together, a match of character is what keeps you together. Another bad news: chemistry is really hard to resist. And because of our romanticized idea of human relationships, most of us try to build lasting relationships based on chemistry. If you are lucky and the person you had a reaction with is a decent human being that fits you, you’re all set.  You can stop looking, put a ring on it and enjoy.  But if you are unlucky(like me) you end up with a history of unhappy relationships and reluctance to give in to chemistry.

So… what to do, what to do? I have no idea, do you ?

3 Responses to “Late night thoughts”

  1. Chiranjeev Gupta says:

    I wrote something once whence I was wondering about the same, just to make me believe there was one from me. It’s kind of hippy, published it when I was in college

  2. Iuliana says:

    Wow, thanks for sharing. So if you were in college two years ago, you are really young. :) Just ride the wave, good things will come.

  3. Chiranjeev Gupta says:


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