Oct 08 2018

Mistakes happen

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 22:22

Humans are not infallible creatures. Actually, there is no creature immune to fuckups. This is what makes this world so beautiful and colorful. Trying to live a life without making mistakes is sisyphic. Believing you never made a mistake and you will never make one is moronic.

I grew up terrified of making mistakes. Of course, the mistake concept was pretty malformed in my family as well, as a mistake was whatever event caused by me or my sister that my parents disapproved of. And their disapproval was manifested by more or fewer light-beatings, repeated beratings about it, eventually in public – because everybody knows, the more people hear about the fuck-up and agree it was a fuck-up, the more chances you will understand your mistake and the more the chances you will never do it again, right? If this is what you think, then please don’t have kids, because you will be a terrible parent.

I don’t know for sure when I heard this expression but here it goes: “only he who does nothing, makes no mistakes”. Unfortunately for me, I heard it quite late, and until then I still had the inherited attitude of my parents regarding mistakes and people who made them. After hearing that expression I rummaged over it on and on. Sure, we all make mistakes, but mistakes have consequences. How can you forgive a mistake and the consequences are unforgivable? Well, you don’t have to. You just have to accept this is the way life is and move on. Being a grounded person means accepting that mistakes happen and being strong enough to accept the consequences as well.

Mistakes are unavoidable. Accepting them and showing yourself available to help correct them and eliminate the effect of the consequences is the most healthy attitude. Nobody wants to make mistakes. So when pointing out a mistake to somebody, be kind and be graceful. This is probably the only way you will make it easy for them to admit to the mistake and correct it.

I’ve written this post because I’ve written and errata for any of my books. Some of them have gotten pretty long. I sometimes had moments when I’ve felt ashamed and considered that maybe I shouldn’t write books anymore. But if I wouldn’t write them, there would be nothing for other people to read and learn from, and apparently, there is enough correct information in them that they can identify my mistakes. And from time to time, I even receive an email like the one below that makes my day.

So I will continue to write books, and I will continue to make mistakes and I will write erratas even if I’m not paid to do it. Because at least I’m doing something. I am no longer afraid of making mistakes and I accept the consequences.

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