Oct 18 2018

Tinder HowTo

Category: English posts,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 22:24

After moving to this country and waiting for a little time to get used to it (lies, I actually just needed to finish the book, get some sleep and make sure this company still wants me after three months) somehow I found again the bravery to install Tinder. This is the fourth time I install this damn application and if my past is any sign of my future, it will not be the last time I do this. Sure, there are other ways, there are quite a few dating sites in the UK, but most of them require a subscription to allow exchanges of messages between parties. And I’m not that desperate to pay to meet someone. At least not yet, who knows what the future holds?

In Romania I did not have much luck with Tinder, because Romanian men are either traditionalists or dickheads, or both. Ok, ok… not all of them. But the good ones are all taken or they have moved out of the country. Or they might be gay. (sic!) In the spirit of political correctness, I will be waiting a few more years until I will write a post about those experiences. Because it is better to look at them more maturely, and those guys probably will be mature enough to have a laugh about it as well. Hopefully.

I decided to install Tinder and try to meet some people here, because … mostly because I don’t know anyone here and just having a beer alone in a bar does not do the trick, because British people are very polite and respectful. So much that if they see you drinking alone, they assume you want it that way. After scanning a lot of men pictures over the years, I think I should give a few tips to men trying to … whatever on Tinder.

Humans are visual creatures, so pictures have to be decent. If you are too good-looking and posting pictures that look like they were made for a photo shoot, I might think you are an escort or out of my league. No, I won’t hit like, even if you might haunt my sex dreams for a while. So, use decent pictures of you, natural poses that are advantageous to you, and please do not post group pictures that make it difficult for me to figure out which one are you or pictures of you with friends that are hotter than you. That is definitely a no-no for obvious reasons. And since I am in Scotland right now, if you have a kilt and look fuckable in it, you’d better share a picture with you wearing it. But if wearing it does not help you much, skip it.

Profile details: your interests will be copied from Facebook if you used this account to log into Tinder. This is a good thing because most people look for familiarity. But Facebook can work against you because it might pull out interests that you removed from your account, but Facebook remembers!!! So yeah, be careful with that, but really, there is not much to do there.

Aside from your interests, you have about 500 characters to describe yourself. Put there everything that might make you attractive and some details that might want to make certain people skip you. Why? Because for example, no matter how hot is a person there might be details that make them incompatible with you. For example, in my case, if you are allergic to cats and you are a smoker, you can skip me, because those are the hard limits that make you incompatible with me no matter what. I can’t stand the smell of tobacco on peoples’ skin, clothes, or the smell/taste of their lips and I’m not willing to give up my cat.

And since Tinder is used differently by different people, you can add the purpose you are using it as well.

So here you are, the profile is awesome, you are past the first step and you matched with somebody. Say hello. Seriously. Start a conversation and sync your expectations as soon as possible in the conversation. Time is money, so take this affirmation seriously and respect yourself and the other person too by not wasting it. I always try to meet the person as soon as possible because I want to see if we have chemistry and what kind, because that’s when I’ll know what we’re good for. Because, even if Tinder was invented for horny/lonely people that want to get some, if the chemistry is missing, you will be thankful for a handshake, a good conversation and a peck on the cheek. And maybe a new interesting friend. Tinder can only tell you that you and the other person find each others’ profile relatively interesting. That is all. All that Tinder does is tell you that you should meet that person because there is potential for something. It cannot guess what that something is. That is defined only after meeting face-to-face.

Tinder is a powerful tool. In this world where we work a lot and are encouraged to follow our passions, it is difficult to meet the same people enough times to become closer to them enough to test the compatibility and start something. Sure, there is always work, but dating at work is tricky. Tinder provides the means to know that a person compatible enough with you exists, he or she is still single, it makes this person aware of your existence as well and ensures reachability. After the first match on Tinder, a small online conversation breaks the ice, so when you meet is not that awkward. But if you prolong that conversation too much, the other person might lose interest. Or decide to go for a quick pint with someone like me, that bring this up in the first two lines. :D

So, that’s it with Tinder, it is quite useful when used wisely.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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