Feb 09 2019

Good soul, skeptical mind

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:51

The thing I love most about moving to another country is the fact that I get to fully immerse in its culture and get to know people with a different core of fundamental values. There are philosophers that say that people are born bad and society conditions their malevolent impulses and there are philosophers that say the exact opposite. I’m not a philosopher, I’m an engineer and I believe people are born as pure as a blank canvas and their environment shapes who they are. Their environment¬† and their experiences sculpts their characters and determines their thoughts and their actions. So somebody raised up and educated in a country where survival of the fittest and competition are core values is fundamentally different than somebody raised up and educated in a country that has survival of the pack and cooperation as core values. Sure, the work on your character never ends and changing your environment might cause little or big changes here and there, depending on how open minded you are, but some building block of your character such as you instinct fro survival, are hard to re-program.

I do consider myself quite open-minded, but there are certain things that are ridiculous and I just cannot wrap my mind around. I already written another entry about the lack of initiative in dangerous situations, this is about something else.

A while ago I had a chat with a colleague of mine, regarding child abuse, it’s many shapes and how society reacts to it. And obviously when you talk about child abuse you have to talk about Kevin Spacey and Antony Rapp. So here I am asking the question that I haven’t heard being asked in the press: “How come a 14 years old kid was at a Hollywood party without an adult chaperone? Where were his parents?” And my colleague tells me that what I am doing is “blaming the victim”, that Kevin Spacey is the only one to blame for being a pedophile and that is it. It was no use trying to continue the discussion because my colleague seemed be stuck on the this idea and me looking for other “guilty parties” was actually making me a pedophile defender , as I was trying to make Kevin Spacey look less guilty. I was not looking for guilty parties, I was looking for parties that could have prevented what happened, so in the future people in similar position will behave differently and prevent a tragedy from happening.

But the discussion I had that night still grinds my gears from to time. I imagine that one of the biggest fears of parents is that their child will be abused and I imagine a parent would do anything to prevent that. Because, even if the guilty party is caught and punished, a child, after something like that, will be forever broken, mentally I mean. Also, we know the world we live in, we know that pedophiles exist, especially in environments like show-biz. If you were a parent of a 14 year old young actor, could you sleep at night not knowing where he or she is? Would you allow them to go to a party for adults without a chaperone? Because when I was 14, the only places I was allowed unsupervised were school, church, my room and playing around the block. I know church might not be a good example either, considering what we know now. But I was lucky, never got abused there. So I got that going for me.

This is my opinion on the matter and it will probably never change. Because when it comes to child abuse I would rather we would work as a society together to prevent it, not to imprison pedophiles and then spend money on psychologists to treat the victims. I would prefer much more a society in which the existence of pedophiles is taught in schools and people are encouraged to seek treatment as soon as they get the urges. Because in a normal world, a better one, it would be normal to prevent abuse than treat it.  It would be normal to identify pedophiles and treat them before they get to abuse anyone. But apparently, as a society we seem to take the easy way out in this case as well and treat the symptoms, not the disease.

Don’t get me wrong, hurting children is horrific and I would totally allow the death penalty for pedophiles.¬† There is a reason pedophiles are named predators, because predators cannot help themselves. A lion, will always be a lion and it will hunt and kill antelopes. The only way to prevent a lion from hunting and killing antelopes is to separate him from the pack, and put it in a reservation or zoo. Thankfully, pedophiles are not lions, they are humans and when it comes to dealing with humans, we are a little bit more experienced.

Still, the world is better that it was a century ago when it comes to child abuse, at least in what we call the civilized countries, so we’ve got that going for us. Maybe in the future we’ll get to the point that I dream about, and pedophiles will be prevented from existing.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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