Oct 27 2019

The one with the menopause

Category: Funny,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 1:39

After 5 published books and a few jobs where I had leadership positions people that know me tend to think that I am pretty smart. I don’t like to contradict anybody that has a good opinion of me, but if you think I have some natural talent, or that my work is exemplary and my mind is an epitome of organized information let me burst that bubble for you.

My mind is like a hurricane, powerful, quick but also highly disorganized. After all these years I barely know how to harness it. Sometimes I have the impression that I do not remember information and when needed, it just pops up seemingly out of nowhere. Or even more funny, it pops up when I no longer need it.

When I took the exam to finish the first school cycle in Romania, there was a math problem that was really simple, but I was unable to solve it during the exam. The solution come to me three days later, seemingly out of nowhere. It’s not like I was thinking about it after the exam really, I was just on the balcony, lounging in the sun and boom! there it was.

One of the weirdest things that happened to me recently is being in a bar with a friend and recognizing a song and the band and started singing it. And he swears that a few weeks ago I did not recognize that song when he asked me about it in a different bar.

Anyway, I decided to take a break from bragging about where I’ve travelled and what I did interesting and waste your time with some funny things happening in my life.

Almost two months ago I started having this issue, where I was sweating so much during the night that I would wake up in the morning with my pajamas soaked and the sheets too. And the smell was different for the night sweats and the normal day sweats. I was changing my pajamas daily and the sheets weekly at this point. I tried lighter pajamas, I even considered sleeping naked. And when nothing worked I considered going to a doctor, to check what the problem is.

And then I went to Ireland for some reason almost the same thing happened, but not with the same intensity, so I  was convinced at this point that there’s something wrong with me.

I’m not hypochondriac, but any change in how my body behaves sends me into a rabbit hole. See, my family is plagued with cancer. On my father’s side a lot of family members have died from it. So anything I cannot explain sends me into the “Fuck! It’s cancer!!” frenzy. I’ve been to the doctor twice until now, once because of a small infection and once because of a wart and the question was “Is it cancer?”.

But clearly, strange smelling night sweats couldn’t be cancer, right? But what could it be? So I did what any person does nowadays, I asked the internet. And the response was: menopause. Ok, fine, pollution, genetics, there was a possibility that it might happen to me. There are a lot of other symptoms and drawbacks, as not being able to have kids (which is not really an issue for me), and my main problem with it was obviously the fact that I was wasting detergent and energy on washing sheets and pajamas all the time. And well, I’ve had some weird mood swings lately, so yeah, might be menopause. And fuck … my bones will get fragile now…

That was it, I decided going to the doctor was necessary, but before setting that up, two nights ago I noticed that although it was really warm inside the house, my boiler was still running. So that made me question the functionality of the thermostat. So I checked it out, and the LCD displaying the information was a little bit dimmer than usual. And it showed the temperature in the house as being 24 degrees. And then it hit me. The thermostat functions with 2 AA batteries, if they are depleted, it cannot connect the boiler to tell it what to do. And to test my theory I started searching my small electronics boxes looking for 2 AA accumulators that I knew I had somewhere. I found them, I charged them and then put them in the thermostat. The text on the LCD got darker and clearer. And then the boiler stopped.

And last night it was the first night in almost two months when I did not sweat like I was sleeping in a sauna.

My suspicion is that being out of battery, the thermostat skipped sending some signals, or the signal was to weak to reach the boiler and thus sometimes, it continued working overnight instead of stopping at 11 pm as it was programmed.

Anyway, I meet a friend today and I tell him this story and he’s looking at me with the biggest and most unbelieving eyes telling me: “Dudette, you are a technical person, wtf?’ And I was just raising my shoulders and making a funny face, because I really cannot explain how I couldn’t figure this out earlier.

So yeah, I believed for almost two months that I’ve been hit with early menopause. And considered all the things I must prepare for and the things I need to be careful with. It also made me realize that I am getting old. I mean, I’m four years away from forty. Not sure how I feel about it. I will let you know when I get there. Cross that bridge when I come to it, right?

Stay safe, stay happy!

(Image source)

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