Aug 22 2020

Man, having a different opinion is hard …

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 13:26

I received a comment a few days ago to one of my entries. It doesn’t happen very often because people rarely take the time to communicate online with a stranger these days unless they are contacting support. I previously wrote an entry about our country economies being fuelled by babies. It sounds somewhat macabre if you think about it. But it is also true. We are born and we are shaped into adults that are meant to be part of a society and … behave nice, almost submissive. So, somebody commented on it. Turns out, I know nothing, and I quote: You know what I think? That you would do anything to find a man and have a family. People are different and thus have different opinions. But she, because the commenter is a woman, does not have an opinion about my opinion and the ideas I expressed in my entry, she has an opinion about me. Not about what I expressed, but about me and how I think. This woman did not even give a second thought to the ideas expressed in the entry. She dismissed me without providing any arguments as why my ideas were wrong. She did not want to start a discussion. Because…

She did not doubt her knowledge or thinking. And this is one of the things I still don’t get about people, even after all my time on this Earth. I know enough about this world and about this life, to know that there is much I do not know. That is why I ended my entry with But, what do I know?. I am ok with not knowing, it took me a long time, but I accepted I will die not being sure of anything. But it is good to be aware of your limited knowledge, because it will stop you from making affirmations with too much conviction and ending up hurting someone. Because being fixed on an idea, is a sign of narrow-mindedness. Looking back into my past I remember one of my ex-boyfriends jokingly saying from time to time I don’t have many ideas, but the ones I have they are fixed. And people around him, including me would laugh at that joke and found it funny.

But if we analyse our history, people fixated on ideas are dangerous. Imagine if Hilter would have actually doubted himself a little in regard to his politics; the Holocaust might have been avoided.

Not long ago, people with fixed ideas and a lot of conviction were killing innocent people in the name of a god they had no proof it existed. Not long ago, some of these people with a lot of conviction were burning witches at the stake. Honestly, I am quite amazed society has evolved at all. Because any idea that challenges society causes the most visceral reactions. I have no idea how we managed to give up burning people at the stake, how we abolished slavery and death penalty.

I am pretty sure when the first person said, Maybe they aren’t witches, you know? There was at least one person telling them: You know what I think? That you would do anything, even marry a witch, just to have a family.

Or when the first white person said: Maybe slavery isn’t right, there was definitely somebody telling them: You know what I think? That you would do anything, even marry a black person, to have a family.

And so on…

This is why I have my own blog. Because you cannot emit an idea without providing the arguments that back it up, that justifies your thinking. And this cannot be done in a short text. And if you write too much on Facebook, nobody will read it anyway. Having my own space to write my ideas, also allows them to not be overwhelmed by hateful comments posted by people with no patience to read a text, let alone ruminate on it before replying. Still, aside from really crazy shit, I approve most comments, even when they express different ideas and points of view. I do believe for people to grow, to challenge their beliefs, you have to keep open a channel of discussion. Ignoring them and allowing them to get stuck in their own bubble will stall them in a numb state of mind. The same would happen to me, and I do not want that. Because the real world is not made only from people like me. So, I want to try to understand the people I am sharing this planet with.

As for babies… I have a godson and I love his sister too. And I love their parents, I consider them family, even more than the ones I am linked to by blood. They are amazing people; amazing parents and they will raise up two amazing adults. One of my colleagues has four sons, but he is an amazing human being and those kids will be amazing human beings too. I would never chastise any of them for having kids. My ideas in that entry were more for the people that do not have them yet. Creating a life should take a lot of thinking and planning, because once it is here, you cannot change your mind about it.

Have kids, if this is what you want, regardless of the consequences on the economy or the planet. But take a step back and analyse your life and analyse the world around you. And then plan your future including a kid or two. Is that plan feasible? Will it make you happy? Will you able to make them happy? Are you sure you can be a good parent? Do you like the world you are bringing them into? What are their chances to blossom into proper adults?

I’m not sure I can be a good parent. If somehow life would have taken me to a path including a kid, I would have done my best. But, my parents did their best and their best included some physical and emotional abuse, some religious indoctrination and overall a bad childhood for two people. And those two people are both adults now and both decided to let these damn genes die with them. It is my choice based on my past not to have children. And people like that lady should congratulate me and others for this kind of decision. Because less babies in the world means more resources for her babies after all.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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