Oct 22 2020

Cheaters, cheaters everywhere

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 23:56

I’ve been single since 2014. The reason I became so, is because my then boyfriend dumped me for a younger woman with bigger boobs, and unfortunately for him with a bigger brains too. Almost two years later he did the same to her and when I ended in the peculiar situation of consoling her, I found out I have been cheated on, probably most of the relationship. Turns out, my ex had a long duration affair with a work colleague.

So yeah, I missed a very nasty bullet and I don’t regret a thing.

The boyfriend before him, almost did the same thing, but because he was an idiot that could not keep his mouth shut about a younger woman flirting with him, I ended up dumping him. And he finally could consume the affair with his colleague, without the guilt of hurting me over his head. We are still friends, but only because our relationship was based on friendship and we were able somehow to keep that.

While working in various companies, I’ve seen people fall in love at work. The phenomena always made sense to me. People fall in love easily with familiar faces. Also, in an environment that conditions us to show the best version of ourselves, because our chances of being promoted depend on it, it is very easy to fall in love with somebody. But I was always aware of the difference between the work persona and the one at home. Why? Because I was very aware that the real me was quite depressed, with a very low self-esteem and a lot of times, one push away from killing myself.  But rarely these aspects have seeped into my work persona. That is why I was promoted and praised for being an over-achiever a lot of times.  So, if it was like this for me, I concluded it must be the same for everybody, because I am human, and I am not special. So, I formed this ethical work-code that I have always applied in my work life: “Don’t fuck where you eat!”.  Yes, it’s the fuck version of “Don’t shit where you eat!”.

One of the co-workers at one of the companies I used to work, divorced his wife after she bore him three kids, for a work colleague. And over the years, at the same company I’ve seen quite a few married men, being a little too close for comfort with some of the women working there.  I’ve never judged, this life is short and mostly crappy, we are entitled to all the happiness we can get, regardless of the source.

When people falling in love at work are both single and consenting adults, this does not present any problems for anyone, except the company they work for. Because depending on their roles/teams/responsibilities there might be suspicions of favoritism towards the partner. Also, their relationship storms might affect the quality of their work. That is why, most companies have internal rules that prohibit relationships between employees in the same teams or departments, or at least make it mandatory for relationships to be reported.

Problems multiply when one of them is in a relationship. Because, their behavior hurts another person, or persons (if they have kids). And these persons are blameless in this, they haven’t seduced anyone, they just got their heart broken as a collateral for an affair which is based on curated interactions.

My best friend divorced her husband a few years ago when she found he had been having an affair with a work colleague for two years.  She was broken hearted, she took her kid and struggled to fix her life and what I’ve admired about her is that she was still hopeful about love. (I am quite cynical about it.) And she met him, the man she did not think exists or that she deserved him and a few years later, here they are, moved in together and her child loves him to bits. Fast forward a little bit, one evening during dinner time, she gets a call from an unknown number and her world crumbles down, because at the other end was a work colleague her now fiancée has been having an affair for the last six years. The reason she called her is because she might be pregnant, and she is expecting to finally become the main woman in his life.  My friend’s story is special, because the idiot fiancée was married before. He got married only because the woman he was screwing lied to him about using contraceptives and got pregnant. He did the right thing. And he ended up divorced and with a daughter he barely sees.  So, he knows women can get pregnant, he is aware his money makes him a honeypot for this kind of harlots and he still fucks without a bloody condom. (Who the fuck cheats without protection???)

They definitely don’t fuck him for his looks, because he is a chubby bald man, as plain looking as a bowl of caraway soup. So, he meets my friend, which is way out of his league as looks. And apparently as character too.  And what does he do? He treats her exactly as he treated his harlot ex-wife. The strangest part is that he insisted in having a child with my friend too. And they have been trying for a while. Why? Does he just like paying child-support so much? Or his wicked plan is to fill up the planet with his shit genes, as some wicked revenge on the women that chose to date men that did not look like him?

This week I had a long chat with a dear friend, and she told me two of her cousins, both men, cheated on their wives … you probably guessed yourselves by now … with work colleagues.

And who knows how many other stories like these are there. And who knows how many of them are never told. And I am pretty sure this is not a new thing. I think the previous generation went through it, and the one before it, and so on.

My question after living and hearing all the above … is now “Does anybody go to work, just to work anymore?”. Because, if going to work also means one of the responsibilities is to frolick around with colleagues, some of us did not get that memo. And I feel cheated, because I’ve had some really yummy colleagues over the years, and I’ve missed my chance dammit!!! (I’m kidding of course, and I have to write this, because sarcasm is not obvious in writing.)

I’m not judgmental, really, fuck whoever you want, as long as two consenting adults are involved it shouldn’t be anybody’s problem. But when one of the parties, has a commitment given to another person, it sucks for the third person. Because that person deserves more than being lied to and disrespected. We are a consumerism-based society. We consume food, services, electronics, it makes sense that we consume our love too. So why do we have those wedding charades where we profess never-ending love, in sickness and in health? Let’s just make the marriage a short-term contract. Let’s sign a contract to be together for two years. If after two years, it still works nicely, let’s prolong it for another two. Clearly, in case of being cheated, what hurts us is the expectation of fidelity forever, ever after. Let’s reduce our expectations, and in doing so let’s reduce the heart breaks.

Otherwise we will have a world of cynical women like me. And believe me… you do not want that. Because a world of cynical women, might decide that men are just worth their ability to produce semen and … you know what the black widow spider females does with its copulating partners, after they’ve fulfilled their purpose right?  Yeah, they eat the fucker.

I’m not saying cheating is something only men do. But I know a single case, where my friends got divorced because she cheated on him. So… the numbers here are not in favor of the men.

My friend might forgive the cheating bastard. And she might even try to get him to a therapist and fix their relationship. And it might work. Although, she probably won’t marry him now without a very rigid prenup, because in case he breaks her heart again, she has to be compensated with enough money to pay for the therapist that will help fix her heart and the broken childhood of her kid.

I think some childhood/adolescent frustrations are to blame. Or there is something wrong in the education of boys, that causes them to turn into men that are so weak that can be controlled by women using their dicks as joysticks. I mean, if the person you have at home is worth the commitment, you respect that commitment. It should be easy to do, since these men are adults and are aware of social implications of what they do. And I’m sorry, but I want to give men credit here, I do not believe a man’s brains stops functioning when his dick starts to.  If you have money, social status or you are incredibly handsome, women will flirt with you. Some of them will throw themselves at you. What is stopping you from saying: “Look lady, you know I am spoken for, please stop embarrassing yourself!” Was your childhood that bad, were you rejected by so many women when you were a teenager, that even as an adult you do not know how to say no to easy-pussy?

And to those women that get into this kind of affairs… Are you that lonely? Is your life so sad and empty, that you can only feel it worth something by riding a dick?  Do you really think the hole in your heart will be fixed if you shove a dick in your other holes? And are you so devoided of empathy that you cannot put yourselves in the shoes of the person being cheated and realize the hurt you are causing?

What the fuck, dear humanity? If ending a relationship is no longer affecting your social status, if you don’t risk being shunned by your community, why cheat? Why lie and disrespect and hurt somebody that the only mistake they did is love you? Just end things and move on. It’s not so hard to do. Also, how about you use that empathy and consider the psychological damage you are doing. Persons that were cheated, they are reluctant to ever trust a partner again. What did they do to deserve long time trust issues?

And for fucks sake, stop screwing at work, otherwise your wives will send you there wearing chastity belts.

But what do I know? I’m just a cynical, but happy spinster and free from all the bullshit of the above.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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3 Responses to “Cheaters, cheaters everywhere”

  1. someguy says:

    > I’m not saying cheating is something only men do. But I know a single case, where my friends got divorced because she cheated on him.

    You shouldn’t because it’s not true. Why so few acknowledge? No idea. I guess men between pride, guilt induced by crappy partners the idea they should men up, or even the stupid idea that they now have a free pass at doing the same (good luck growing up in that family) simply acknowledge it less.

    I should know. My wife cheated a year ago and I’m still home, thinking I should do what it takes to make it work for my kid mainly.

  2. Iuliana says:

    That’s the thing, if women do cheat just as often as men, it seems they are way better at doing it then they are. Maybe is because society is way ruthless on them than men, they are better at hiding it.

    I mean, if you look at it logically marriages are social contracts to insure wealth increase and producing offsprings to inherit that increased wealth. Once an offspring is produced, and your cheating doesn’t endanger the offspring and thier position in society, cheating should not be such a problem.

    The main problem is, we are romantics and we want everything from a single person. And that is rarely possible.

    Also, I’m really sorry for your situation man. I hope life is good for you and your kid is happy.

  3. Cristina says:

    Cheaters are everywhere, because most people, gender independent here, are looking for a love (passion) story instead of a life story. So like Esther Perel preaches here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S57343tPKHg is always good to ask ourselves whether we are looking for a love story or a life story. Different ingredients apply.

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