Jan 24 2021

I don’t like to talk politics…

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 16:20

…but when I do, is to criticize conservatives.

Every country in the world has them. There is that one political party that wants to keep the world from changing. They want to freeze it in that one moment that is good for them, and the hell with everybody else. Scotland has them too. And I just received their booklet through the mail, and I would like to write about it. So, here I am writing about Scottish politics, which probably I shouldn’t be doing since I am not yet a citizen. But guess what? I am allowed to vote, because I live and pay takes here so I have the goddamned right to criticize them.

In this post, I am taking generic things about conservative parties and matching them to the things in the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party booklet. Let’s start with the basics. Even if the party doesn’t not have the “conservative” term in their name you recognize them pretty easily.

The first thing that stands out is that they are religious as fuck. If they are not obviously religious, there will be subtle hints. In their propagandist booklets there will be a photo with a traditional family: man + woman + child(children).

I would like to say that it’s not bad being religious, but religion has been the cause of the most horrid atrocities in history(I won’t list them for you, do your own damned reading!). As a politician, if what represents you the most is your religion, I wouldn’t vote you. Because I would be basically giving you the power to crucify me in case I don’t share your religious views. Would you vote a seven-year-old with imaginary friends? How about a forty-year-old? Exacly.

The second thing is that they are nationalist as fuck. In the same family photo, the man, woman and child/children depicted will be the epitome of genetic traits for the area they aim to represent. The previous picture depicts the typical Scottish family that happens to be the party leader and his family. Last time I checked, Scotland was quite full of non-blonde/redheads, non-blue-eyed people; not all of them immigrants. If you want their vote, make your booklet more inclusive for fucks’ sake.

The third thing is the “what-about-ism” of their booklets. There will always be a problem that weights more than the others during an election. But these guys are always trying to direct the attention to the other multiple issues their country has.  Most of them are important, I’m not saying there are not, but those issues have always been there, and no political party was able to solve them.

For the Scottish people, that big issue is independence. Especially now that the UK has fucked themselves out of the UE. The only reason they voted NO at the previous referendum, was because they wanted to be part of the UE. Even is this meant being part of the damned UK. They wanted the practical exchange of goods and services and in turn leads to job creation, economy stability and opportunities for young people.  So, the thing that conservatives promise to focus on is a consequence of independence and rejoining the EU; which they are not interested in. Not sure if I’ve made myself clear, but conservative promise to treat the symptoms, while the Scottish National Party wants to eradicate the damn disease. Also, let’s try to downscale this scenario, to basic human relationships. Imagine you’ve caught your partner cheating. And they say: “Let’s not get distracted by me cheating, first let’s focus on solving our financial problems.” What would you do? I definitely preffer solving my financial problems alone, than with a partner I can’t trust.

They depict themselves as the hero of the story, trying to stop the villain of course.

“The only party strong enough”, “The biggest party”, “Only SC can do it” – yeah, they could, if they would only have your vote.  In the words of the great George R.R. Martin: “A villain is just a hero of the other side.

I like the “FACT” stamp on this page of the booklet: the only fact about SC is the same for any political party, you are nothing without your voters. If I made a booklet for a political party, I would add a “THANK YOU” page, for the people already voting for that party, instead of bragging how big and strong my party is. Unity my ass, unity with who?

They list very nationalist/populist plans, but without many details on how they will make that happen.

Maybe I am a little unfair here, other political parties do this too. But still, if you want my vote you have to explain to me how you will do it? Because if that involves more taxes for me, I won’t vote you. Period.  For the next few paragraphs, I will imagine having a direct conversation with Ross, this conservative bloke that dreams himself to be the next Scotland MP.

Power up the Scotland’s economy” – mate, what does this even mean? How will you safeguard jobs, especially when some of those jobs are linked to Scotland being part of the EU?

Invest in our local infrastructure” – mate, I moved here from Romania; your infrastructure is fine. A bridge was fixed in Edinburgh within one week. I can drive on 99% of Scotland’s streets without looking out for holes in the asphalt. In case of damages, your streets and highways get fixed in months, instead of years.  I would apply the engineer’s principle here: “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!!”

Restore Scotland’s reputation for educational excellence” – bad news mate, there are a lot of stupid people in Scotland, just like in any other country. Your party wouldn’t exist without them and I seriously doubt the intention of any politician declaring that they want to educate people. I’ve said it before, and I will repeat myself: the only constant in the universe is change. People should aim and should be urged to accept and adapt to change, not try to prevent it, like you damn conservatives do. Unless conservation means something different nowadays and I need to update my dictionary.

Renew faith in the justice system” – mate, in what shady area are you living? Justice seems fine to me, again, compared to Romania. Unless you know something you are not telling us, this line right here is just trying to trick people intro thinking there is a problem with the justice system in Scotland.

Work in partnership across the United Kingdom” – to do what exactly? What do you mean by this? Are you aware that Scotland has its own bank and prints its own money? And has its own parliament? Scotland is already as detached as it can be from the rest of the UK. And since the number of people dying from COVID is bigger in the part of the UK that is not Scotland, I tend to think that Scotland really doesn’t need this partnership. It’s like having a partner that always eats your food but never buys any, or  promises to wash the dishes but never does. Nobody needs that kind of partner.

So, this is my take on the Scottish Conservatives. If I ever get the SNP booklet I will discuss that too. Just for the sake of it.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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