Oct 02 2021

Autumn dream

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 22:01

Last night I’ve fallen asleep after seeing the ending of Lucifer. I’ve loved the series since the beginning and even though this last season was the weakest of them all, was still nice to watch and I did not feel like the time watching it was wasted.

The last episode finished a little bit after midnight and the ending moved me more than I’d like to admit. Just because I don’t like to, that doesn’t mean I will deny it though. So here is me admitting it: Lucifer’s finale made my heart sink into itself and made me doubt that my romantic nature is forever gone.

The ending was beautiful and heartwarming, it’s what any human that is not a psychopath dreams about: the perfect partner, at their side, forever.

I’ve watched the ending as the clock passed midnight and it was the 2nd of October. He would have turned 40 today. He would have had a party, and family and loved ones surrounding him and kids that I would have spoiled rotten. While writing this I just realized 20 years have passed… oh my heavens it was so long ago, and I still haven’t forgotten his birthday!

I did not realize it at the time, but I felt tears in my eyes, and I did not understand why it was affecting me so much. I had to get up from my bed go to the bathroom look in the mirror and tell myself to get over it, it is just a movie after all. I guess seeing that scene where Chloe knocks the door and is welcomed by Lucifer, is what I dream sometimes. I dream of me dying after living this life for the both of us and meeting him in the afterlife to tell him all about it. I wish life and death would work like that; I really do. It would make it so much easier to live and enjoy this life, knowing that a lifetime of loneliness will be rewarded with an afterlife with the person you loved most.

Sometimes people come into our lives by accident and without even realizing they leave marks so deep they never heal. Thank you, dear human! You showed me what true kindness looks like and made me realize I deserve more and that fighting for it tooth and nail is worth it. I will continue living this life for the both of us and if there is an afterlife, I’ll tell you all about it.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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