Dec 12 2021

Being born guilty

Category: MiscellaneousIuliana @ 15:58

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know that I was raised by an overly catholic mother. The consequence of this was low self-esteem, guilt, and lack of sexual education. The consequences of those were many and … not sure what negative attribute to describe them fits here. Neither of these is the topic of this entry, however. The topic of this entry is the guilt.

I was educated to feel guilty. All religious women, share and carry the guilt of being the cause why humanity is not living in the garden of Eden. So, my mother passed that guilt onto me. This means that when something bad happened to me, my automated response was not to question it or fight against it, but to accept it for being punishment for Eve’s original sin. You can imagine this type of attitude lead me to be meek, soft, helpless and honestly quite a bore.

When I got my first period, my mother and all religious women around me were quick to remind me that the period was a reminder from god of the part women played in the original sin, you know the one that everybody is supposedly washed of via baptism. And the pain of pregnancy is a punishment for the original sin as well. The same sin people are washed of through baptism!!! Religion, please make up your mind already, does the baptism wash the original sin of women or not?  If pregnancy pains are a reminder of the original sin for women, what is that reminder for men? Passing a kidney stone through your urethra, which is in the center of the penis and meant to only be passing liquid stuff? Because science said men are mostly predisposed to having kidney stones.  I will never experience it myself, but I heard the pain makes you think about killing yourself.

However, my survival instinct was always and still is quite strong. So, although at home I was told I am guilty for the whole humanity not living in paradise, at school through religious education (ironically orthodox, because this is the dominant religion in Romania) repeated that, and at my afterschool activities which involved the church that was enforced again, my survival instinct combined with my obsession for reading every book that fell into my hands started to plant the seeds of rebellion. And so, I ended up asking one of the priests in my church if Adam was a total idiot to go against his belief in god and enjoy the damn apple, just because Eve recommended it. The priest said that Eve was a temptress, that she temped Adam, and he was weak and was tempted. He changed the subject quickly because I had so many questions. What is a temptress? Why would god make weak humans? Why was the serpent allowed to be in the garden in the first place? Also, why apples?

Now that I am older and an Atheist, I no longer have those questions, I have others.

Here’s the thing, when a woman is raped, most people still dissect every action she did before the rape to find a way to blame her. Did she lead him on? Did she not shout NO loud enough? Did she put herself in the position of being raped by letting him into her house, or returning late from work on a dark street? How could she be that stupid?
So, if women are condemned for their naivety/stupidity, why was Adam not blamed for his, in the apple situation? And how come the weak, easy to tempt member of the species became the powerful and the dominant member of the species and whole societies evolved around this concept? It’s unfair to men as well, to reduce them to weak minded, easily tempted brutes.

What if Adam was just an asshole? If you ask feminists, he probably wanted to try the damn apple himself, but he did not want to risk god’s wrath. What if the snake in the garden of Eden was Adam? What if he is the one that inspired Eve to taste the apple, then joined in, once she did it first and could blamed for it? This narrative fits best with the behaviour of men always blaming women every time something goes wrong.

Anyway, religion is the refuge of weak mind. Feel free to believe in something greater than yourself, but do not live your life following somebody else’s rules without questioning them. Live, learn, decide who you want to be and live by your own rules. Like is too short and too precious to do otherwise.

And never, ever let anyone make you feel guilty for something you did not do.

Stay safe, stay happy!

2 Responses to “Being born guilty”

  1. Rox says:

    It’s not religion that induces guilt, because it’s not religion that shaped people and society, it’s the other way around.
    Guilt is everywhere when it comes to people, especially women. If it’s not related to sex, it’s related to what you eat, how you raise your kids or give birth to them. Detox diets resemble a lot religious fasting and are even stricter (and dumber).

  2. Iuliana says:

    Society and religion are interlinked. You say that society influenced religion, not the other way around. But if you go to any history museum, you will see arrange marriages between monarchs or monarchs annointed by some religious head, and through them by god. Since religion decides who the leaders are, indirectly religion shapes society too.

    Guilt is the most powerful weapon for convincing masses to be meek and tolerate leaders that are not interested in their wellbeing, but it was especially useful to keep women in check for centuries.

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