Ordinary mornings

I don’t think I truly appreciated ordinary mornings when I drank my coffee while looking in the distance at the boats on the canal. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked the universe for the quiet and the normalcy of my mornings when my cats lounged in the sun beside me and I was preparing for a banal day full of cleaning the dust in my house and then writing a few words for my books or my blog.

My mornings now are still normal, just sadder. I wake up and I check Psihoza is still alive, and I wonder if she is in pain, and she is sticking around just because I need her. I really hope she is not, and I really hope when she is ready, she will go peacefully in her sleep and maybe mine too.

Then I take my phone to check the time and check on the Ukraine situation and Zelenski. I hope Ukraine is still on the map and Zelenski is still alive. I wish this war to end, but ending it might require NATO intervention, or military help from the neighboring countries, including the one where I was born where most of my friends and family reside, which means world war…. Paradoxically to stop a war between two countries, where one invaded another, a bigger war is needed.  So yeah, I am conflicted about this.

I always said that this is no world to bring children into and raise them into, I never thought I would be proven right during my lifetime. I hoped I would die and then people would discuss the life of this mediocre Romanian Java author that refused to leave a genetic mark on this world and people would say that I was wrong, because the world is better than I saw it to be, and the world would have been better with some of my rough copies of me in it. People are dying in Ukraine and the whole people is watching and doing nothing. I don’t want to demean the suffering happening anywhere else in the world, it’s just… this is happening so close and because it is happening in a civilized world where even while bombs are dropping the internet is working and the whole cranage is being broadcast everywhere, and even treated as entertainment from time to time, this has more impact.

You know why Ireland gained its independence and why the Irish still hate the British? Because the destruction of Dublin by the liberating British happened on camera. The technology of recording movies and broadcasting them was just invented, and a lot of the destruction was recorded, and all the world could see that the British … were not the good guys. So, under the international pressure and threat of sanctions, the British decided to just abandon their quest of owning the whole island. They did that because well… you need to have good relations with the rest of the world when you live on an island with shitty climate, unless you are willing to starve you population and/or get them depressed because no vegetable and fruit grown on this island has any god damned taste. Also, monarchy… you cannot be a monarch if people hate you, just ask the Romanovs. So, the British gave up and thus independent Ireland was born. There might have been other historic context elements that I am not aware of, but at Kilmainham Gaol museum,  a lot of the credit for the Ireland independence is given to the invention of television.

If anything will win support and will stop this war, the broadcast of the suffering, of cruelty acts of soldiers and normal citizens altogether and the destruction left behind will do it. Europe was always seen as a place of culture and continuous progress by the world, and now because of putin, a big chunk of it is slowly turning to ashes, while the rest of it has to find a way to integrate and support financially a few million people. It will take a while until these people will overcome the trauma of this war and become productive members of any society. Make no mistake… they are refugees and regardless of the benevolence of any state taking them in, they will not be treated as full citizens for a long time. They were victims of this horrid war, and they will continue to be victims while dislocated from their land and homes.

I so miss the ordinary mornings when I did not have to think and write these kinds of things.

Stay strong Ukraine! Слава Україні!

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