Ordinary life

Since this pandemic started my days seem all the same. I wake up, I cuddle the cats, I exercise, I drink my coffee, I work, I listen to music, I play some piano, I cook, I eat my dinner, maybe do some work on a book, maybe write a blog entry and then I go to sleep.

When it is nice and warm outside, I go on a bike ride, or a walk along the beach, or I drink my coffee outside in the garden with Mayer. Sometimes I sleep late, sometimes I end my evening by solving a puzzle with my old neighbor while having a cup of tea.

These seem like a lot of different things, but the year has 365 days, and it is easy to see how my life might get repetitive and … boring.

Since mid-February, my morning routine has changed. I wake up and make sure my cat Psihoza is still alive. The vet told me she doesn’t have long now, her being in chronic renal failure. But more than one month has passed since then, and she is still alive. She lost another half kilogram in weight, but I am getting her special food for her kidneys, and I am buying a lot of different fancy food and minced meat and fish, because I want to make sure she enjoys her last days.

Starting with 24 February, my morning routine changed again, I wake up, check the cat, then check twitter, telegram channels and a few somewhat trusty news networks to make sure Ukraine is still hanging in there and that its president is still alive.

I’m finding it difficult to be positive about life right now. How can I go and have a drink with friends and chat about small things like work, and books I’ve read and the cheesecakes I love to make, and my new floors and taking the bike to the shop and preparing for summer and other things… when there is this feeling disgust for what is happening in Ukraine and disgust for all the people that allowed a full continent to be blackmailed into helplessness by a lunatic? And it’s not only the war, I read stories about how refuges are mistreated and some people try to take advantage of their situation and it makes me sick to my stomach. There is this sadness and lack of trust in humanity that plagues me that makes me unable to enjoy life right now. I am disappointed and angry at the world, and I have no idea how to deal with this. (I know, I know I should probably look for a therapist)

I am wondering how long it will take for the idiots that Europe calls its leaders to realize that not being a part of this conflict is not an option.  But what do you want Iuliana, WW3? I am so fucking sick of this question. Every country is sending money, humanitarian, and military equipment to Ukraine, who do you think will pay for all that? You, me and other idiots that are not experts in tax evasion. The longer this war continues, the more things will get more expensive, and taxes will increase.  I’d rather we go all in, push the Russian army back withing their borders, mine the fuck out of those borders and keep them locked in there until Putin dies and maybe a more decent leader replaces him.

Also, I’m not sure if you are keeping your eyes in the news, but because Europe and US are in disarray and fumbling like idiots unable to put out the fire that is Ukraine, other countries decided that it is time to settle scores with neighbors. Because US, the teacher of this playground is … kinda busy. Plus, after the shameful retreat from Iraq, how would anybody take US seriously anymore, anyway? I am no military expert, but a bunch of countries that see themselves civilized and powerful not doing anything while people are getting killed on the same continent, they don’t look that powerful to me.

If you watch while somebody is committing a crime and do nothing about it – although you are totally able to – you are not a witness, you are an accomplice. All Europe is Russia’s accomplice. Go sleep on this if you can.

Stay strong Ukraine! Слава Україні!

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