In June this year I have to make a decision: do I reserve the VM and the domains for this blog for another three years or not?
I know the quality of my writing might have decreased over the years. Life gets in the way. I would love nothing more than to have the time travel, read, meet people, and try new things and then write about them. Unfortunately, I have to work to pay my mortgage and put food on the table and in the cat bowls. And so, when I write I write about how I feel, I write about the small and banal experiences of my homelife.
A while ago a colleague asked me why do I keep this blog for, what is its purpose? He was bothered about the fact that I post about private things here, I assume he imagined that this blog is more of a diary, and a diary should be private. And it might be, but I barely write a few entries a month nowadays and they are mostly inspired by conversations I have with my friends, conversations that might be similar to somebody else’s. Even if all these things might be considered private, they are 0.0001% of my private things. For all the things that make it here, there are thousands of thoughts that remain in my mind, that I share only with a select group of people, or that I write in my real diary, the small notebook in which I write with my red fountain pen.
Do I want attention, do I try to tell people “Look at me, I exist! Look at me I am doing something!” ? I’m not sure honestly … I guess this blog is just something that I’ve been doing since 2006 and I am not ready to stop it yet. Also, it has helped improve my typing speed, it has helped improve my English, it has helped a kid get a heart, it has attracted the attention of Steve Anglin and this is how I ended up writing books for Apress, it has helped me find friends, inspire people and sometimes offer them a new way to look at life.
Maybe I do want to have my small bit of notoriety, maybe I want some small part of the world to know that I exist. Is this selfish? Is this wrong?
The internet has provided me the opportunity to touch the lives of people far far away in the best way, in a different way facebook or Instagram have done it. My blog might not represent all of me, it might not even represent the best part of me, but it is honest and unapologetic. There are so many good things about it.
Sometimes I think that I maybe abuse it a little and use it like a form of therapy, but this life is so short, and we must feel and heal and try to leave a part of ourselves behind. I do not plan to have any children; in two generations nobody will know my name. Is it so wrong that I hope to leave a trace for a while?
What is this blog for? Not what… who. Who is it for? It is mainly for me, but if I benefit from it, if it provides me so many good things, it doesn’t cost me much to share it with the world so maybe it does something good for others too.
Stay safe, stay happy!