Apr 09 2017

Song inspired post

Category: English posts,MiscellaneousIuliana @ 13:10

It’s no secret for my friends and for my oldest readers that I am a peculiar music lover. I get lost in songs that beside sound also have deep and meaningful lyrics because this combination moves people and makes them think. The song “Happier” from Ed Sheeran is such a song. I just finishing listening to it and felt the need to write here where my mind went.

I remembered how I felt when you left, I remembered a few of the things you told me, among them I hope I remember properly, you said you do not want to stay in my way. Almost three years ago, all the things you said about leaving me for my own good seemed such bullshit and still hurts a little thinking about it. Because at the time it was bullshit that you trying to feed me, to keep my love for you alive, just in case your new relationship would not have worked and you might have realized at some point that you loved me and you were better with me.

It’s ironic really, that bullshit from three years ago is not bullshit anymore. You were in my way. I sat four extra years in a town that I did not like, in a region of the country I loathed, just because I thought I I loved you and you felt the same and I should give that relationship a chance, even against all odds. I really hope you are happier now, happier than you’ve been with me. I was never good at this relationship stuff and I know I probably I made mistakes that I didn’t acknowledge at the time and don’t even remember now. I can’t remember the times when we were happy that much. So I have nothing to compare with my current situation.

I’m definitely more tranquil and focused on what I am passionate about. I’m definitely more aware of my own desires and what brings me satisfaction. I am more open-minded to new experiences and new people. I am more accepting of my failures and of others as well. I am more indifferent to the human nature, I have become less critical about the world and more careless. I don’t know if this is bad or good from others’ point of view, but sure feels good and comforting. And what else is happiness if not loving what you’ve got after all? So I guess I am happier.

I am writing all this from a hotel room with a view over a beautiful city while the sun is shining in my windows and Ed Sheeran is still playing his guitar on my speakers. I took a break from doing something that I love and that I will shortly go back to. And it’s not a man :)), its a technical book that I’m writing, that is yet another part of my legacy that I will leave to this world when I’ll be gone.

This and many fulfilling experiences would not have happened if you wouldn’t have decided to stop being in my way. I know you did it for the wrong reasons at the time, but currently I couldn’t care less.

Stay safe, stay happy!

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